Lol I wanted to reply the same thing. Rural as a kid sucked, you couldn't do shit, couldn't go out. There was nothing to do in my vicinity and my parents had to drive me everywhere except to my friend in the next village where I went by bike. Now as a young adult in a city it's way better. Public transport takes me everywhere I want to go, I get back by myself after partying and just going outside my apartment and having a 5min walk to a grocery store is pretty cool.

I hear you, access is great, I take my kids to daycare via a 10 min walk and then take the trolley for 15 mins to work. I have a large store right next to my house. Theres 2 awesome parks within 2 stops. I would trade it all for a yard and a minivan if that wasn’t so expensive by comparison (probably close to double, at least, what i pay for rent and utilities atm).

As for the kids, I think they’d be off okay at baseline, since between the 3 of them theres only a 1.5 year gap. At the point when I will look for the place, I will also only work 8-10 days a week, so I can dedicate plenty of time for their needs.

My mom's family lived in a small town (not her immediate family, her dad moved them around, he did construction) and she said she would never ever want to raise kids in a small town because "when there is nothing to do, they get in trouble" and indeed, her cousins and nieces and nephews did. She sent her niece Susan $500 at graduation for making it through without getting pregnant or arrested!

We did grow up in sort of a suburb but with a university, library, sports and dance places, buses to downtown, plenty of places to work and parks and stuff. I moved into the city proper, but not downtown. My kids thank me for not raising them on the outskirts. I do think more urban is better than suburbs and uptown like we are is ideal, a "development" from the 1940s a couple miles from downtown, not in the direction of the very rich people. There are both houses and apartments here and it's fine. There were where I grew up too.

Oh man this is so me!

I grew up in the rural USA in a pretty area with lots of space. I enjoyed a lot about it, but I didn't realise how suffocating it was until I spent a couple weeks living in a walkable city in Europe.

It was magical! The freedom I felt by being able to walk/cycle/take a bus somewhere without having to be driven! The feeling of being able to just go meet people!

Fast forward a decade or so and I moved to Europe (as an adult). Still magical! Imagine being able to walk to the bar! No looking for parking! No car payments!

I'm never going back...

That being said, I understand why many people are resistant to density. Cities that do density poorly (I.e. 99% of US cities, and many European ones) are miserable to be in. There is a reason that people visit Venice and not Houston...

I have 3 boys, they have a 1.5 year difference, so I think they won’t be lonely, getting involved is also less problematic since I will only need to work 8-10 days a month at that point. To be clear i am not thinking about middle of nowhere, but like a couple stops from the city.

Access is nice, 10 minutes to kindergarten on foot, 15 to work by trolley, store literally next door, two awesome parks two stops from us. But I would trade it all away for a yard and a minivan if that wasn’t substantially more expensive.