300
Actually not funny
(i.imgur.com)
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I give money to cashier, change comes out of coin dispenser. I say "Looks like I won again!", cashier dies a little inside.
Every time.
Long long ago in a callcenter not too far away, I made a guy choke on his drink. As required, I asked if there was anything else he needed before I ended the call, to which he replied "the winning lottery numbers?" I said "if I had those, I wouldn't be talking to you."