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this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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That's pretty much the definition of the job of parent. To control everything around the child and how they interact with things.
It's not any more difficult than it ever was. For one thing, don't give kids a smartphone until they're at least 13, they have no need for one before then.
Similarly, up to that age, they should be taught how to use a computer and the internet, but only in a closely monitored, safe manner.
After 13 or there abouts, they are given more freedom and more responsibility to go along with it, and hopefully have been raised well enough to respect that.
From there, limitations and guide rails will remain in place, be it a traditional curfew in the evening, or a limitation of "screen time", and if course of what the children interact with online.
Greater autonomy is earned through positive actions and mutual respect, too. Over time as they approach adulthood you will be able to loosen restrictions and worry less, as the strong person you've helped raise will be able to make their own decisions with greater confidence and more positive outcomes.
Mistakes will be made on all sides along the way, there will be joy, sorrow, anger, love, parenting is a learning experience for all parties, but in the end, if all goes well, you'll have a well adjusted young adult who isn't addicted to their mobile phone or any of the apps contained within, who understands the dangers of such things, and how easily addictions and a warping of reality within the mind can set in.
Eventually you have to let go, let them be adults and make their own decisions, but by then they'll have this deep understanding of the dangers they face, and that's the best defence they can have.
It still might not be enough, but all you can do as a parent is try to prepare them, from then on they have to make their own mistakes, you know?
Anyway yeah, that's how I think about it :-)
The fuck. You'll breed a country of people with zero social skills, zero independence, and a lot of ressentiment for their parents for boxing them in and helicoptering leading to an authority neurosis.
In short, you'll have American conditions.
It takes a village and all that.
No, give them 30 pence so they can find a telephone booth and call you if something is up. Make sure to isolate them from their peers because they can't use the same chat app as everyone else. The more isolation the more you control them which will make nurturing that neurosis even easier.
If, at the age of 13/14 thereabouts they haven't learned to evaluate things for themselves, have had the opportunity to make wrong choices that they then learned from, they'll be rolled over by puberty hormones driving their frontal cortex to mindless exploration. You cannot substitute your own judgement for theirs, your judgement isn't stopping them, their capacity and ability to say "wait a minute I should think before I act" is the only thing that can.
At the age of 16 they should be mature enough to live on their own, with parental backup being present, but not imposing on them. They'll call you when they need help because they came to value your guidance. Not control. One of the two begets rebellion, the other doesn't.
I'm sure you'll be able to after helicoptering them for 18 fucking years and them going zero contact for their own sanity.
Then fucking do that!
So ehm, how old are your kids and how do they like it so far?