You are literally talking in a group about a neurodivegence, a type of mental health issue which makes us function differently than others. This means there are behaviors we can't easily change due to how our neurological functioning.

Do you truely believe you are in 100% in control of every little action you do? That no underlying cognitive barriers exist to make you do things or not? Are you some type of robot or a human being?

Also, do you even have ADHD? If you do, you must either be some evolved specimen above us mere mortals or you lack the empathy and self awareness to understand that people can sometimes struggle to change themselves.

I can both have struggles to change my behavior and not hate myself at the same time, it's called accepting myself for who I am.