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this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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The best thing for Tesla would be to dump Elon and move its headquarters back to CA. It needs to rekindle the love with its customers. Also Apple could buy Tesla and the world would go nuts.
People thought Teslas were overpriced before, imagine the valueless Apple upcharge!
Yeah but apple has iBags that deploy in an accident to protect the passengers, and the patented iWheel allows the front tires to turn 35 degrees in either direction.
It deploys to protect any passenger with a paired iphone app. Other passengers will get a coupon to upgrade.
Either?! Throws life savings at product
Imagine the size of the lightning port
Latest update. You won't be able to adjust seats, mirrors or steering wheel. Apple knows best how they should be set. Customers are too stupid to do it apparently.
Would you like to adjust your seat? How about your mirrors? For only $35.00 per month for seat adjustment and only an additional $10.00 per month to adjust mirrors and you can adjust them yourself 10 times per day!!!! A deal too good to be true, hurry and talk to AI agent today!
Steve Jobs AI CEO Hologram: "you're driving it wrong!"
Honestly it would probably require a full rebrand at this point. Tesla as a brand is too tainted now.
Elon, sometime soon: "I've got a great idea! We're renaming Tesla to 'E'! Let's go, bros!"
X
Ford Pinto
Apple buying Tesla would be kinda crazy, might turn out good since Teslas are basically computers with wheels. But the two companies design way differently than each other, I doubt Tesla is as good of craftsmanship as what Apple typically does, and may sully their brand unless they can find a cost effective way to turn out a better product for similar pricing
I could see Microsoft making more sense between it or Apple. Tesla could give them that "sexy" edge they've literally never had before and that Apple's always had going for them. But there are tons of legal issues and regulations with the automotive industry, idk if they will want to.
Other interesting options would be NVIDIA or Alphabet, they have the spare capital for it but again, weird industry for them to get into. Likely Toyota or Ford etc would buy before a tech company imo.
If you want to maintain that feeling, don’t ever buy Beats headphones. I’ve had a few and their build quality is worse than Teslas.
So Apple has bought at least one crummy brand and not corrected build issues.
I think alphabet have a good partnership with jaguar. They would have to redesign to bring in line with Waymo. The bones are there though.