I get it. It's very normal though. There's a difference to being in a situation for so long you kind of numb out a little vs experiencing something better and then losing that hope. Also some of what you're experiencing could still fall under the heading of institutional abuse.

IANAL and not familiar with the eligibility criteria, whether there's a child protection specific instance, but I do know there are organisations to protect vulnerable people in resi. Perhaps you might be able to find an independent visitor or someone to advocate for your best interests in all this. Because this current bunch aren't...

This one is in Queensland but perhaps there's a Victorian equivalent https://www.publicguardian.qld.gov.au/i-am-a-child-or-young-person/who-can-help-you/community-visitors

Ok, if you scroll down there's an entry for the Community Visitors Program in Victoria https://providers.dffh.vic.gov.au/useful-contacts-supported-residential-services https://providers.dffh.vic.gov.au/useful-contacts-supported-residential-services

Whether or not you want to contact them is up to you, as you've seen there can be blowback from mismanagement and complaining is risky when the organisation controls where you live. But definitely keep that in your back pocket if they try to send you back into an unsafe situation. Perhaps even call them now with a view to asking if they can help you