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[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 29 points 4 months ago

One of my friends is a MAGA gay. He is absolutely miserable and hates himself all just because he is gay and everyone around him except for me says its not okay. Its fucked up and I can't seem to pull him out of that headspace.

[-] noxy@yiffit.net 8 points 4 months ago

How can you even consider someone like that a friend?

[-] protist@mander.xyz 22 points 4 months ago

Personally, I think it's great that MAGA guy has a voice of reason in his life

[-] noxy@yiffit.net 16 points 4 months ago

Since when does reason mean a damn to the average MAGA fuck, let alone a queer one who ought to know better?

I don't necessarily disagree with you though, hell I agonize about this very thing since I have definitely run up against MAGA and threeper queers. One of whom I cut off an entire friend group over because he was always in that group. Another I tried staying in contact with to try to be a voice of reason for, but I just couldn't take it at a certain point and had to cut the fucker off.

Hell I have the same general struggle with my fox news addicted father - I cut him off for years after he ranted about mask mandates within MONTHS of his own daughter spending a week in intensive care from severe asthma complications.

I dunno how to handle this shit and it really fucks me up.

[-] protist@mander.xyz 13 points 4 months ago

I don't expect anyone to put up with it if they don't want to, but the power of human connection is much stronger than you're giving it credit for. Approaching someone from a place of nonjudgment and asking well-placed questions can really get some people thinking. Acting respectful and nonjudgmental is paramount to gaining respect and opening up the conversation to other possibilities.

I'm in no way implying this is going to work for any one specific person, especially your father, but it absolutely does work to moderate some people's beliefs.

[-] noxy@yiffit.net 10 points 4 months ago

You're right

Just...it's such a mjndfuck to completely fabricate a veneer of nonjudgmental and respectful interaction with someone repeating the most vile of ideas

[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

There's good in this world, Noxy, and its worth fightin' for.

On a serious note, when you grow up around Republicans. When they surround you every day. Well, people are a product of their environment a lot more than they realize. His environment happens to feed him Trump's lies without any of the bad stuff. He didn't like Project 2025 but denies anyone would go that far. And he doesn't just sit there spewing hate, he actually tells everyone to go vote no matter who they are voting for, he even reminds me to vote when the time gets close and he knows I'm a Democrat.

These are people, no matter how twisted they have become. We will never heal by shutting them out. We have to do something, and telling him its okay to be himself is better than doing nothing. I hate it, too. I just want my friend to be happy. But he won't be as long as he continues living where he is, and hanging out with bigots who tell him Trump is right and being gay is a sin.

[-] jadedwench@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Why are you telling him his behavior is acceptable? That is doing him a huge disservice, especially if you are his "friend". Call that shit out.

[-] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 23 points 4 months ago

I think they tell him being gay is ok

[-] jadedwench@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Ah! I must have misunderstood their comment. It sounded like they were gay, MAGA, and people hated him for his MAGA behavior. Gay is fabulous, raging asshole is not.

this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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