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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Melbourne
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overthinking overreacting
Torn between feeling good and feeling bad. I feel good because next week I start my course and I'm changing my future.But I feel bad because I feel so far behind. I don't even have $40k of super. I don't have a career. I've burnt my brains out trying and failing at call centre work for 10 years. I still feel like I'm failing. That I have already failed and I'm waiting for it to catch up with me. I can go back and blame the first 28 years of my life but I'm also autonomous. Why haven't I got a high powered career making big money and have a nice nest egg. I've never had enough to even travel to Bali FFS. Idk. I just feel the weight of the past more than ever and I. scared of failing again. It's gonna take me three years to get where I want to be, qualification wise, and I'll be 35. And I have to then find work and start paying my HECS off. I don't feel like I'm ever gonna have a home or feel financially secure.
Alright tough love time: Everyone is running their own race, and everyone started with their own unique handicap so you cant compare anyone elses life to your own.
BUT: If you're not happy with where your at? Fix it. Process the emotions, work through everything then get up dust yourself off and keep going. Sadly no one else is gonna step up and help you out here, so its up to you to live the life you wanna live. Set some goals and make 'em happen. Rome wasn't built in a day, but it would never have been built without starting out and some tough days.
Thank you for this. Next week is just me laying the first brick of my own Rome then.
You're the best, Tinybreak ๐
I'm ten years older than you and have only worked out careers that I don't like. Hecks is only a problem if you make money. Due to lifelong research I'm an associate professor in being broke and feeling like I have enough. I had a super fun 20s & 30s. I've eaten the double dick of lockdown then hernia for being a massive hermit. Pulled my super out during covid because there's just something about it that I'm sus on, possibly just simple financial iliteracy on my part but gimmie my money. Impermanence, you ultimately cannot rely on anything other than your own mind/thoughts. Once I'm able to work again I'm considering scaffolding and getting back into jiu-jitsu. I've always enjoyed physical work over intellectual. My first degree got wiped out by arduino. I don't like the myotherapy industry in Australia, the way to make money is to run a clinic (rent seeking) not be a therapist. Plus any job I can leave at the job is a bonus. hits vape, pops another endone
Better to be working towards a career you will enjoy later in life than to have stayed in a career you hated for the sake of being financially stable earlier in life. Yes, it would have been better if you found what you wanted to do career-wise earlier in life but it doesnโt always work out that way. I think what youโre doing is brave, a lot of people would have stuck to their existing career, too scared to make a change. The money and holidays will come in time!
so many many hugs
half the battle is setting your own goals, not the goals of other people and society
at the same time remember you are part of team, you are not alone, it's you and your partner against the world