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When sleeping, door open or closed?
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I'm the opposite. I like it when the cat curls up on my feet, but I'm not a fan of just letting them stalk through the house and jump around freely when I'm trying to flipping sleep.
They can't not do that, so they get shut out. And I taught them early on that if they yowl and scratch at the door on the middle of the night, they're just gonna get launched down the stairs.
Cats only get to be the boss if you let them. They absolutely can be trained to not be total tyrants.