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After a particularly annoying update today
(sopuli.xyz)
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Exactly. After reading through some forums it sounds like BitLocker may have been enabled at the factory initially but I had never noticed and since I didn't set it up myself I had no key. So anyone reading this and running windows: right click your C: drive and see if BitLocker is enabled. If it's enabled and you didn't enable it or don't have the key then disable the encryption. You can re-enable it afterwords and safely backup your new key so you never find yourself in this situation.