I think about this, or a related problem, a lot.

You have a group of players

• the first player wants tactics and strategy. They're like "I'll run into the room and dodge to draw their attention. Then you can drop a wall of fire or something while I have their attention". Combat is a problem to be solved using the fewest resources and lowest risk.
• second player wants to cast fireball. He wants to do cool flashy things. He's not here for resource management or long term strategy.
• third player wants to pet the giant spiders, open a lemonade stand in the dungeon, and have some beach episodes
• fourth player's just here to hang out with friends

Each person in that list probably thinks the one above him is "playing to win".

Second guy thinks the first is trying too hard about tactics and strategy. Third thinks the second is trying too hard about combat and damage. The fourth thinks the third is spending too much time roleplaying.

It's fine if your group is all the same type. But when it's mixed, it's bad.