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So much siding, but it keeps getting worse
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this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
446 points (98.7% liked)
Terrible Estate Agent Photos
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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.
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Here's my two shots in the dark to explain this monstrosity:
Retired couple buys one of those workshop/huge garage and apartment combos. They decide to turn the workshop into an event space for weddings.
They add a few conveniences for the wedding party, like a couple extra bedrooms to get ready, and a black and red honeymoon suite. The decor is hideous because retired wife is old af and it looks good to her. Retired husband sucks at DIY, like electrical and room layout, but doesn't let small things like planning get in his way.
Grandson works at a siding company that mainly does B2B installs and often has leftovers. Sometimes he grabs other overage from the project after talking to other tradies, like a banister here and there. Maybe an orphan cabinet base.
Grandson wants to start his own siding business one day so he is happy to practice installs on the wedding rental building.
Alternative: Fundie church does secret child marriages here and the couple that maintains the property is allowed to live there as well. The ugliness of the property is because they're purely utilitarian and just need a facade of wedding shit because it's not really about the wedding as much as it's about keeping it on the down-low.
neighbors are a church
Is the church still active?
If it's recently defunct or relocating, I'd bet this is the parsonage, assembled on a shoestring budget from the church offering, and using whatever materials they could source as absolutely cheaply as possible.
I'm guessing that either a member of the congregation or family connection of same is a siding guy and was able to get all of this for free or obscenely cheap from somewhere, or was able to get it donated, and rather than waste it or decline what they couldn't put on the outside, they decided to save money on drywall and paint and put it inside as well.
Same with the furniture, etc. this just reeks of "super tight budget but with excesses in certain odd specific areas because we got it donated".
Yes! This reads parsonage to me as well! That explains all the office chairs and more bathrooms than bedrooms. It's likely a breakout space / small groups meeting area
Heeeyyy .. I'm sure that's only a coincidence!
Also where'd you get that map? It's interesting.
Looks like act data scout.
searched for "randolph ar gis" and actdatascout.com was one of the top results:
https://www.actdatascout.com/RealProperty/Arkansas/Randolph
The website for the Arkansas GIS Office isn't nearly as helpful, and the Randolph County GIS website can't find the address at all.
Is 'siding' the stuff the walls are made out of? (Sorry, me being a railway enthusiast, 'siding' means something completely different).
What material is that?
Yep! 99% sure the siding here is vinyl. That's the cheapest option for house exteriors so it's very popular in the US.
If you have the budget, you can also get siding made from aluminum. It's all meant to mimic the look of real wood planks.
What does siding mean in railway enthusiast vernacular?
Thanks for the explanation. Vinyl seems like an odd choice of material for exterior cladding, where I live it's normally timber, brick or sometimes steel sheeting (mainly for sheds and garages).
A railway siding is a piece of rail track that is commonly used for storing, loading or unloading trains away from the track where regular traffic runs.
Vinyl is used because it's pretty weatherproof, easy to work with, and works well in most climates. In certain desert areas in the US, houses can get hot enough for vinyl to melt and sag, but that's more common when there's been a fire near the house. Given that the siding is over the vapor barrier, exterior insulation (either extruded polystyrene foam or polyisocyanurate foam) and exterior cladding, it's mostly there for keeping moisture off the cladding, etc., and for appearance. Wood/timber siding requires more maintenance than vinyl does; you need to paint wood regularly, or else you risk it rotting out. Timber homes also tend to have less insulation, which is becoming more of a problem as climate change speeds up. (We replaced the rotted-out siding on our house with concrete fiberboard siding; it installs and looks like wood siding, but can't rot.) Masonry homes in general, but especially masonry that's a load-bearing component (rather than a facing on a timber-framed building) is very expensive compared to vinyl, and maintenance--tuck pointing--can get quite expensive. That said, properly done masonry construction can last centuries.
Vinyl doesn't rot, so in addition to being inexpensive, it's popular in areas with high humidity. It does break down over time under constant exposure to UV light, so it doesn't last forever. Then it's just a big pile of plastic trash.
You may have heard of PVC (Poly VINYL Chloride I think) cladding - same thing. In the UK it’s predominately used for soffit and fascia (the normally white plastic bits between the top of a house wall and the beginning of the roof tiles where your gutter lives) It’s worth noting that PVC cladding is only to “pretty-up” finished buildings. It has zero construction strength but when fitted properly will stop all water penetration. Give it a wash once a year and it’s as good as new.
I don't need to fact check, this is it.