Funniest:

“Once you’ve had one baby, that one needs a friend! Then that next one needs an enemy, which means you’ll need a fourth to be a peacemaker, unless the first one steps up to the task.”

Saddest:

“The more children we have in schools, the greater your chance someone else’s kid will get shot.”

I think the thing thats frustrating about the conservative baby shaming game is that they could probably easily get more people to have kids if they supported social programs that would make it easier. Thinks like universal childcare and student loan debt forgiveness.

And that's on top of the ludicrous cost of living in a lot of the country. But even if you move into a more affordable city you still have the cost of student loans and if both parents work the cost of childcare. And the cost of childcare is insanity. Like ten to twenty THOUSAND dollars extra a year.

When did the Onion become less absurd than reality..? I'm pretty sure I've heard conservatives literally say some of these, and worse.

All of these aren’t so far-fetched that one of those idiots would have said it.