White and un-toasted. Add the mearest smear of mayonnaise, a hint of salt and white pepper, cut the crusts off, and then cut each round into three rectangles to make finger sandwiches.
Yes, I'd say the removed crusts and tiny sizes are the most distinctive features
White bread, untoasted, thin sliver of marg, feed them to your auntie with weak tea in a china mug and, for dessert, get out Mr Kipling's French Fancies or a couple of slices of Battenberg. Make yourself a few ham and cheese butties with a packet of pickled onion Monster Munch and a glass of crap pop (probably lemonade).
No substitutions accepted.
toast
O_o
WTF?!
Love it :-) TOTP no less. Can't imagine today's pop bands having the guts to do anything like that.
Hear me out.... Mayonnaise.
Softest white bread you can find. Sliced cucumber. A sliver of mayo. Cheese or ham slices according to your preference. Or both.
Sliced sideways not diagonally.
If it has cheese or ham then it's not a cucumber sandwich. It's a cheese sandwich, or a ham sandwich.
Cucumber sandwiches require toast. (I'm preferring white now, but I change...)
Especially delightful with tzatziki, bc cucumbers galore!
Perhaps a soft cheese & iceburg lettuce.
kosher salt
ymmv
Toasted? Wtf?
This is easy. Anything that touches cucumber is ruined.
If you insist on making a cucumber sandwich, just remember to chuck the whole thing in the bin before eating it
I was like this when I was younger. Absolutely hated them. Then my taste receptor that made them disgusting just kind of switched off gradually over time. Apparently this can happen from middle age onward. Maybe wait a while and try again someday. They're also better with salt.
I'm approaching middle age and still feel this way.
I've never actually found them disgusting, just that they seem to suck the flavour out of anything that's next to them. So many nice experiences eating food have been lessened by including cucumber.
That basically ties in to your last point. They might be fine with enough salt, but they are almost never served that way.
As I've reached middle age, and my sense of taste degrades, I've downgraded cucumber's taste from "rancid farts" through "standard farts" to "mild farts".
They still taste of farts, but eventually you just decide that life's easier if you just accept that cucumbers and most cruciferous veg tastes of farts, but hardly anybody else can taste it and they don't know what you're on about, so you just eat them and say "yum yum, that was great" for the sake of a quiet life.
I could not possibly have described the experience better. That's exactly how my relationship with them has evolved. Poetic. And your comment naturally took on David Mitchell's voice in my head.
That fact that you'll never experience tzatziki saddens me.
I'll get over it, though.
It's OK, we can still be friends
indeed!
cheers,
Hear hear. Cucumber is a plague that ruins anything it touches. I'm glad there are others.
You're all wrong. White bread, butter, cucumber, salad cream. Cut into quarters.
There's always one person who puts ranch on everything. Never knew u guys were in the UK too.
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