Judging by the amount of random noises my inkjet makes, this dude must go through a lot of printers.

Man, I remember reading about all this home automation stuff in Compute's Gazette for the Commodore 64. It's been around forever and a day.

I usually keep a stuffed animal near my Brother printer

Tech worker here. I am this 🤏 fucking close to dragging every god damn thing designed to pass an electron out to the driveway and fucking hack it to bits with an axe (that I use for hewing and preparing lumber, so I can live in the wilderness when technology wins).

Haha, "hack to bits" haha. No pun intended.