295
submitted 1 year ago by balderdash9@lemmy.zip to c/memes@lemmy.ml
all 24 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 66 points 1 year ago

That's why I carry a pocket knife. I don't stab people, but I have it in case someone else would like to.

[-] Darkenfolk@dormi.zone 3 points 1 year ago

We need more upstanding citizens like you in this world.

It's so embarrassing if you threaten someone at knife point, did the whole "your wallet or your life" spiel and then figure out that you actually don't have your knife with you.

[-] Dagnet@lemmy.world 60 points 1 year ago

Gotta help your friends get their long awaited lung cancer

[-] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Anything to make healthcare cheaper

[-] LeafOnTheWind@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Smoking causes slow, lifelong issues that will actually lead them to be in and out of the hospital regularly before they die unfortunately...

[-] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

If they get Stage 4 cancer then they wouldn’t be in the hospital for long

[-] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Well you don't get stage four cancer, it's not like you can develop "Ultra Instinct Cancer" or anything. You just let it go unnoticed and then when you find it it's at S4.

[-] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world -2 points 1 year ago

That’s what we need to hope for, which tends to happen since most people don’t like to go to the doctor to hear only “bad news.”

[-] IWantToOwnTheSun@lemm.ee 34 points 1 year ago

I don't smoke, I just like melting things

[-] u202307011927@feddit.de 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lit 💯 🔥🔥🔥

PS: You can own the sun, btw. Just go somewhere where someone sells ownership for stars, and buy the sun then :)

[-] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago

Best summary of NFTs I've seen

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Summary of the concept of ownership in general tbh

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

New sci-fi story idea: a galactic war is fought over one of those fake deeds

[-] Uresname@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

It's a plot point in the Three Body Problem series :)

[-] michaelrose@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

So a coworker at one point was selling this interesting odds and ends offered me a knife with a lighter on the other side. I did need a knife to open things but I had no real use for a lighter as I don't smoke but I of course bought it anyway because it was cool. Had this little dial to adjust the size of the flame... Fast forward to later that night bending over with a 6 inch flame coming out of my pocket from the end sticking out.

[-] miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

Nah, screw that. I want no part in someones' ill health and probably littering habits too

[-] Ibex0@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I did this when I was single.

[-] newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Also it's pretty useful as a bottle opener if there isn't a corner or another bottle around.

[-] uralsolo@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I carried a lighter for a while. It worked fine when I put it in my pocket, but the first time I whipped it out for someone it didn't work at all. They say that that happens to lots of guys but I haven't carried a lighter since that day.

[-] spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I'm only having one for my intrusive thoughts.

[-] newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

Click click click click

[-] M68040@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

Me pulping a radio dj's head in New Mexico in the '50s so I can read a creepy poem on the mic

[-] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

You are just eliminating the concurrence

this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
295 points (87.9% liked)

Memes

45619 readers
903 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS