Some people view certain talk as smalltalk but im always up to know about the weather or bad traffic or anything I can avoid or indulge in if I can.

I tell jokes. I don't really do small talk. But, yes most conversations are deeply personal and deeply philosophical. I have lots of great friends, a lovely wife, a good job and fantastic kids. So yes, you can do just fine with almost no small talk. Become yourself, not what some unimaginative poster on the internet desperate for validation of their opinions thinks people should or shouldn't become.

The weird shit in my head is not suitable for public utterance. I can give you engaging statements or appropriate statements, but one statement that is both requires far more effort.

Small talk with strangers, acquaintances, neighbors is draining even when I like those people. Those closest to me do not require appropriate statements, so with them it never feels like small talk.

Absofuckinglutely. This is what I do, and what she does, though our methods of exploration vary.

Yeah, that's pretty much how it looks like for me

Plan...?

I think no matter what we do most of the things are outoff our control