Ask Lemmy

This is something I really don't understand. Maybe you can explain it to me.

For me a "normal" day would be one where earth looks like the moon. The fact that we have all kinds of plants and animals is amazing and the fact that we have buildings, technology and culture is something to be very proud of, because every day that you don't run around killing people or doing other horrible things is a day where you overcame your instincts and helped hold up culture. So to me every day, even one that you would deem "shit that happens in your life", is absolutely amazing and something to be proud of.

But for someone who believes that there is a God a normal day would be one where everything works out great, and it would just be because God took care of it. A bad day would mean that for whatever reason this God decided to let you suffer. And this is supposed to make you feel good?

Isn't it uplifting to say that you can't explain why bad things happen to you? Do you really think it's uplifting to think that bad things happen to you because an all powerful being decided that you deserved it?

I go to the orange and black website and forget about everything

Basically, do what you can, don't do what you can't. Shit happens, however you want to rationalize it, it still happens.

Stoicism has been tainted a bit recently by attention from some fringe groups, but stoicism itself is still a very enlightened way to see the world, IMO

I try to balance by adding joy to my life and others around me. Loving people, laughing, and a sense of humor about myself helps. Life has a random element. I also try to concentrate attention on the good and what I can control. I have an insatiable curiosity about everything, that keeps me busy, in the meantime.

We all have a limited time in this life, and at some point in the next two hundred years, are certain to recycle our atoms to nature.

If I'm still breathing, I'm fine.

acceptance. hiding my problems behind made up deities will only make things worse when I have to confront them.

I just remind myself of a few key principles:

• My job can't be soul-crushing; there is no scientific proof souls exist. (Basically, if I am upset, I may need to adjust my outlook.)
• The universe may not care about me, but there are people in it who do.
• Sometimes it's gonna hurt, but so far there hasn't been a time where the hurt hasn't dulled and gone away. I always come upon something that makes it better/worth it.

Just gotta find what keeps you going. It's different for everyone.

I rely on the bonds I've built with other people

I call one of my friends and talk to them

Be realistic - whatever it is, it will pass. It's not necessary to understand why something has happened to accept that it has happened. If you can understand it, great, but quite a lot of things in life aren't dependent on things you do or don't do and trying to understand those things will drive you mad.

Bad things happen but so do good things. Kipling wrote:

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same.

Meaning, exceptionally good things and exceptionally bad things are comparatively rare and looking for reasons can sometimes be an exercise in futility. A bird didn't decide to pose as an agent of evil and target you to take a shit on, all that happened was a bird dropped a load when you happened to be walking there.

In the meantime, do things you enjoy. Go to the pub with your mates, re-read a comforting book, listen to music - whatever. And once it's passed - because it will - exert control over the things you can control that will make you happy.

This will be over soon.

I tend to hyperfocus on things I can control and/or try to learn a new skill. Both are distractions, but you can't control what you can't control. Obsessing over those things leads to dark places. Sometimes, mental judo helps. You can reframe a situation that seems terrible by looking at it from another context. Unfortunately, it's hard to give examples for this.

Constantly contemplate suicide until the idea of suicide is boring