52

One of my new friends is/was a cop. Just found out about it. I genuinely believe ACAB, and this news has me conflicted because my new friend seems really cool and super nice. I don't know him super well yet, though. He's a big part of this new friend group and I don't know how to process this and how to deal with the fact he's a cop.

I don't want to look past the fact he's a cop, but I want to stay his friend and stay in this friend group.

Any advice for dealing with this shit?

I can't talk to my therapist about it until Thursday.

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] palordrolap@fedia.io 3 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds familiar. Keeping things vague, but I know a US cop. Out and proud about voting for the convicted felon rather than the district attorney, not that he could possibly think of it that way.

His kids are grown and I've seen evidence they don't share his views. At least one of those kids is a woman. I take solace in the fact that their votes cancelled his out, even if things have gone his way.

I wouldn't say he's a friend, but he's definitely friend of a friend territory and I've "spoken" with him a few times. Carefully. It's been almost pleasant. Even the ones with their heads on wrong can be personable. Until you get on their bad side.

Because of mutual friends, I can't avoid him all the time, but if I can, I do.

[-] Corno@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I'm not saying which country I live in, but I've only ever had good experiences with cops. They were polite to me and also helpful. It is a profession which can and does attract bad actors and the extent to which people are vetted differs between locations, but not everyone is going to be like that. There are genuinely nice and caring people out there who want to help and protect people!

[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 2 weeks ago
[-] nl4real@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Some people just have shitty jobs. That's not a necessarily a judgement of them as an individual, it just a fact that they have a shitty job.

[-] stinky@redlemmy.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Like the Nazis.

[-] blazeknave@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Never talk about the things you know you shouldn't. My cousin and I are exactly as before. EXCEPT politics. It's a brotherhood. You could grow up together for decades but they're gonna believe whatever they hear from the guys purporting they'd take bullets for them.

[-] Donjuanme@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Every perfect rule has only 1 exception.

If you meet another "good one" know that one of em is lying to you.

[-] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

But what if ACAB is the one exception to the rule "every perfect rule has only one exception"?

[-] Donjuanme@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

The conundrum of the rule.

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

I've lived in mostly rural areas, so ACAB doesn't apply nearly as much, but one of my two best friends took law classes and became one of those officers that goes door-to-door checking on people. I technically would assume it's like a probation officer type of position, but she's so unathletic and overall physically outside the expectations you'd place on a cop that either A) she's not a parole officer B) they hired her simply because she can run fast or C) they hired her because she's the last person to fulfill the ACAB stereotype on account of how unintimidating she is, and even if I were one of those ACAB types of people, I would never in a million years visualize her as fulfilling anything except the exception to the rule.

How did I react to the news? I just shrugged. If anything, it gave me some comfort that I had a cop friend which would help certain conflicts I could end up in. From a certain point of view, if you're so scared of cops, having a cop friend could be seen as increasing your chances of having the benefit of the doubt should something happen. Wouldn't you want to be friends with the people in power?

[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

One of my cousins is a cop, but I don't believe ACA literally B so given he's generally a good guy I'd like to assume he's a force for good in the department.

[-] Surp@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I have cops that are friends and they aren't bad as far as I know.

[-] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

that you know of. guarantee they're dirty or know dirty cops and don't do anything about it.

commissioner Gordon is fictional

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

Those of you who know me here know I have an interest in sovereign citizens. I'm in a make fun of sovcits group on Facebook, and this one guy I talked to a lot added me as a friend, no big deal, but then he messaged me to tell me he's a cop in Australia and that he runs into them while working a lot. I think Australian police are likely of higher quality than American police, but I'm still using filters on FB posts.

[-] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone -1 points 2 weeks ago

My brother is a cop, and we're still close despite a mutual understanding that we will become lethal opponents should relevant violence break out in our area (civil war/insurrection/significant rioting).

I think our willingness to do that allows us to overlook our differences until that situation were to arise. I imagine we'd both see that as a defining opportunity for the other to 'defect' and, until then, we can look past associating with a BagGuy^TM

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›
this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
52 points (69.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27210 readers
1449 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS