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the rule of patriarchy inflicts all (files.catbox.moe)

submitted 2 days ago by spujb@lemmy.cafe to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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[-] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 day ago

EVERYONE needs feminism.

I was taking a history class at my local junior college when the professor asked who in the class identified as a feminist. I'm an old white guy in a class full of kids (finally getting a degree) and was one of only 3 people to raise their hands. He explained that he doesn't since he's for equality for all or some such.

I was honestly shocked to see this 30 something guy who at least sounds fairly progressive, and who has been to some legitimately horrifying parts of the world doing conflict journalism, being blase about this fight.

[-] JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

We can thank Rush Limbaugh for popularizing the concept of a feminazi and poisoning public perception of feminism by purposefully misrepresenting what it stands for.

It's one of the most obvious examples of people successfully using social engineering and manipulation of public opinion for terrible reasons and it still worked. They didnt even try to hide it.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminazi

[-] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Phylis Schlafly. She cosplayed as a frumpy housewife while turning the wheels behind the scenes to help wed the evangelical movement with the GOP. While basically advocating for women to be chained to the stove. She is one of the greatest political operatives of the 20th century, helping slow and undo SO much social progress.

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 day ago

TIL!! i knew it was a contrived term but i had no clue it was so centered around a single individual in its origins

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 8 points 1 day ago

one of the self defenses of patriarchy is definitely just to misinform people about whom feminism is for, and so oftentimes that’s one of the first hurdles to overcome when discussing feminism. that’s why conservative spheres are often so obsessed with the “man-hating feminazi” stereotype—even though they make up a incredibly marginal subset of “feminist” voices, giving them a platform creates a useful strawman for conservatives to argue for the need of anti-feminism.

[-] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

I was very lucky insofar as to be raised by a second wave feminist mother (1970s so I think that's the right cadre). She was active in NOW and basically an equal partner to my father in just about all things.

Had I not, I'd like to think I'd have stumbled upon it eventually.

I wish I believed in hell, so Limbaugh could burn for his two faced sophistry for eternity. Then again, he was basically the archetypal prosperity gospel flavor of Christian, so who knows.

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 2 points 4 hours ago

shout OUT to men and women (especially parents) who break the cycle ❤️

[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 126 points 2 days ago

Ain’t this the truth.

I’m a cis guy who likes to dress feminine around the house, and figured I’d paint my nails sparkly red and green for Christmas. Went into (my very masculine place of) work with them and got a depressing amount of comments asking if I’m gay, or expressing concern that I might be.

My dudes, it’s painted nails. I’m not trying to rail you all. Not least because my standards are far higher.

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 87 points 2 days ago

And this is also why its called homoPHOBIA. Often these people are literally afraid of gay(or any other queer) people. Nothings scarier than the unknown and especially if all your life theyve told you what horrible acts they perform.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago

And you secretly are a little curious about it.

[-] shani66@ani.social 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Heterosexuality as we know it today isn't really real, so it makes sense. Having sex with other men (topping specifically) was just something that men did before the rise of a certain evil religion. I'm not really a scholar, but it seems to fit to me. If heterosexuality doesn't actually exist and your religion says anything else is evil, you have to demonize sexuality heavily, and That's exactly what happened.

[-] sudneo@lemm.ee 8 points 2 days ago

If you are referring to ancient Greece/Rome as a culture where homosexuality (specifically sex between men) was normalized, that's wrong. What actually was normal was men having sex with male kids, not adults (see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_ancient_Greece). This is clearly something we now consider a complete abomination, obviously, but men did not use to have sex with other adult men (surely there were cases, but it was not a widespread cultural phenomenon like pederasty).

This is also why I don't think it makes sense to use historical references to help build a moral foundation about what's right and what's wrong. Gay sex is fine because it's consensual adults enjoying and not harming anybody, not because there was some golden age in which this was accepted.

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[-] Hexarei@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago

Doing those kinds of things at home because they were fun actually led to me realizing I'm genderfluid recently. It's been crazy facing a part of my experience of life that the patriarchal society we live in essentially deprived me of up to this point: knowing how euphoric it feels to let myself want to be pretty and feminine sometimes.

[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Amen to that, broster.

I’m lucky that my wife is enby and a similar size, so was happy for me to try on some of their clothes. Long story short, Vinted has enabled me to build up a small wardrobe of dresses, skirts, and pretty tops that I wear most evenings. It feels nice to feel pretty.

I’m basically Captain Shakespeare.

(Robert De Niro in Stardust, dancing in his dressing room wearing lingerie and a feather boa.)

[-] Hexarei@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

So far I've only got socks, skirts, and hair accessories (hair down to my waist). Definitely been wanting to explore other clothing now that I know myself better.

It sounds like you're having a blast, and it's always fun to hear about how other folks have experimented. Vinted looks neat, If you've got any other tips let me know lol

[-] laserm@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

"bUt NoRmAlCy.." Fuck this stupid, perverse idea of normalcy. People should be free to express themselves (as long as theyre not harming anyone ofc), no matter their gender. The freedom of expression is fundamentally programmed into the human nature and must be respected in a free society.

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 27 points 2 days ago

hell yeah brother 💅

[-] Wrufieotnak@feddit.org 22 points 2 days ago

That last paragraph sounds exactly like the words that need to be uttered to them.

[-] PugJesus@lemmy.world 83 points 2 days ago

It's a strange feeling, to look back on your life and suddenly see how society has crippled you, knowing how terrible it has been for you, and yet being such an essential part of you, you have neither desire to remove it from yourself nor regret.

Only a desire to stop it from happening to anyone else.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 28 points 2 days ago

This, right here, is why I'm an extremely vigilant mentor for people in my industry. It will eat you alive and take until there's nothing left. Not letting that happen to anyone.

Same stance on parenting: my kids get to be whoever they want to be, and I'm right there with them. The only thing they can't be is an asshole

[-] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 days ago

I wouldn't be able to stand up for others as effectively if I hadn't been at least somewhat hardened by the bullshit and bullying by now.

Unfortunately HTFU is valuable advice in a lot of blue collar spheres. When I give it I typically caveat that it's only a shell, and you have to remember how to take it off.

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

HTFU?

Hulk The Fuck Up? (labor)

Hate The Fucking Users? (IT)

Has Tomorrow's Finality Urged (ADHD)

Have To Finally Unwind (everyone)

Having Tits Fixes U (confused)

Hawk Tuah Feminist Union (strong straight women)

How The Fuck U still awake (me)

[-] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago

having tits is fixing me :3

[-] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'm stealing some of these, but guessing from OP context it's probably Harden The Fuck Up.

Edit: Also, I wanna see a logo for the Hawk Tuah Feminist Union. Like, really badly.

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[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Well fucking said. Shit goddamn.

I'm the devil's favorite son

Thank you, so much love.

[-] solomon42069@lemmy.world 64 points 2 days ago

Growing up, I used to cross dress and lip sync my favourite divas for my friends and family. No one seemed to mind that except my parents who flipped out over it ( Catholic ).

Frankly I don't think any child should be ashamed of having a bit of fun. I don't remember thinking "yeah I'm gonna be a girl now" - I was just dressing up to make my sister and cousins laugh... But society loves to project it's ideas onto kids hey!

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I mean arguably even if you did "become a girl," why's that bad?

[-] pythonoob@programming.dev 8 points 2 days ago

Cuz Catholic.

[-] Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Yeah. I think Emma Watson has also said sth similar. Feminism is, in some extent, also about people who identify as men to embrace what they perceive as womanly jobs. Being a socially acceptable stay at home dad will earn you a lot of weird looks and snarky comments questioning your sexuality.

And I understand that that's no where close to the shit that women and people beyond the gender binary experience on a daily basis.

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 4 points 1 day ago

emma watson is lowkey the goat, i should pay more attention to what she puts out :) thanks for sharing

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 42 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

They tried. Oh, sibling, did they try...

And the worst part is that you're fucked either way. If they manage to get you to murder your own soul, you're a husk. If they don't, you're a pariah.

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Living life as a pariah isn't so bad, normal people admire when your principles haven't been cynically beat into the dirt

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

And it's not just that, it's the feeling of maintained integrity one has for oneself, it's such an honest and healthy kind of pride to have! I kept hearing the adage that "principles can't keep you fed" over and over while growing up. Even during University, and it was a fucking acting school. But having lived both with and without my principles, I'd rather die starving with my principles intact.

I have no use for the acceptance I'd receive from such fearful, hateful and greedy people. Thanks, but I'd rather love life and its infinite diversity.

I was talking more from the perspective of trying to exist within the patriarchal system, healthy cohabitation is functionally impossible. Even if one tries to walk the edge in between, one will only end up with lacerated feet.

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[-] Elrecoal19@lemm.ee 19 points 2 days ago

Become numb if you do, or become shunned if you don't. And not to talk about bottling emotions and not letting them out healthily... because a bottle can only hold so much stuff until it explodes

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