1103
submitted 1 week ago by meldrik@lemmy.wtf to c/facepalm@lemmy.wtf
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 136 points 1 week ago

"I am hee hee" - Michael Jackson

[-] Aarrodri@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago
[-] Magnolia_@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[-] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago

Fuck you and take my upvote

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 69 points 1 week ago

In the near-future the Bible will be banned for spreading "Socialist Values" and being "Too Woke"

[-] midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago

Eh, I'm fine with it. The death of Christianity will be a net good for humanity, so I'll take whatever gets us closer to that.

[-] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

All three Abrahamic religions need to die.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago

Have you seen the kinds of cultish grifts New Agers AND New Atheists alike have been on? Nature abhors a vaccuum.

Just saying I don't want the Spirit Science guy calling the shots on major holidays

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago

I think a school in Texas already did that to troll all of the "Christian parents caring about traditional values".

[-] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

If evangelicals could read, they would be very upset at your comment.

[-] piccolo@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Conservapedia was rewritting the bible... its very christian of them.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[-] Walican132@lemmy.today 60 points 1 week ago

It’s so sad that no one has read the fucking Bible.

[-] 1stQ@feddit.org 46 points 1 week ago

Would an appropriate response to these people be RTFM?

[-] zloubida@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago

As a progressive Christian, that's something I want to say almost everytime I read somethung written by an Evangelical.

[-] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I am not religious, but I have devoted a good chunk of time to reading the bible. If I can do it, someone who essentially stands to gain nothing by reading it can do it, so can and should all these greasy-ass politicians who use it as a political prop. The only thing more irksome than inflexibly, overly literal religious people, are phony religious people who don't even know what they're talking about. And then the next level of annoying beyond that is yhe voting public who allows the charade. They should be the ones pressing these politicians. "Two Corinthians" Donald? What the fuck are you talking about?

[-] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 6 days ago

The pundits don't care what the Bible says, they like that their followers instead believe what they say the religion is about

You need the common folk to read and understand it if you want the religious leaders to lose their hold

[-] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago

No, see, you can do it because you have nothing to lose. If they actually read and understand the Bible, then they have to start living according to it, and that would suck. "For I say to you it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven?" No thank you sir, that would ruin my prosperity gospel!

[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

To be fair to the camel, God hadn't heard of the Byford Dolphin incident yet.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Shiggles@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago

The bible’s a neat old book of parables and early concepts of morals. Like most things, the fanbase is probably the worst part.

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 40 points 1 week ago

It’s easier to thump a bible when it’s closed.

[-] Walican132@lemmy.today 6 points 1 week ago

I’ve never heard this before and I love it thanks for sharing that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

Not even the Bible. Have these people seriously not heard the words him and her prior to three years ago? Do they really think they are new words?

[-] Signtist@lemm.ee 36 points 1 week ago

It's not that they haven't heard the words "him" and "her," it's that they haven't heard the word "pronoun." They don't know what it means, and think that it's something the trans community made up.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 5 points 1 week ago

Many self proclaimed Christians have not read the Bible , and are appallingly ignorant of the bulk of it.

And when they do know the stories like the good Samaritan, they don't live it.

Wealthy Christians should not exist.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

Because it's a terrible fiction story book

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] dgbbad@lemmy.zip 39 points 1 week ago

They must have amnesia. They forgot that I'm HIM.

[-] Yokozuna@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Flipped a whole brick into an empire, stop playing with me.

[-] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

I was flippin' bricks for Mansa Musa back before y'all were even a type 1 civilization

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Old_Yharnam@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

And even if Jesus didn’t, who gives a flying fuck?

[-] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago

I'm steadily approaching gender and pronoun accelerationist abolishinism. Just keep making more and more genders and pronouns until they collapse in on their own weight; all of them were fake to begin with anyway, including masculine and feminine.

At least stop putting them on standard government forms for ID and shit. The government doesn't need to know anything about my genitals or how I talk or dress (let alone any ways in which they are or are not related) for me to drive a car.

[-] HK65@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I dream of having this whole debate behind us, and it will look as weird to people as having religion in our ID like they had it in the 30s looks to us now.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

Every time I see a bumper sticker that says "What Would Jesus Do?" or the shorter "WWJD?"...

I'm like "Well he wouldn't have drove a car for one, they didn't even exist."

[-] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 57 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He had a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it.

“For I did not speak of my own Accord” - John 12:49

My guess is it was probably slightly dinged with a coffee can muffler with a "co-exist" bumper sticker, and missing a hubcap.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

All these people saying Jesus is my copilot or asking him to take the wheel neglect the fact that he would be a terrible driver and had like no sense of direction. Dude couldn't even stay dead right.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"I am He"
- Jesus
--John 18:5
---Brandon

[-] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"I am He"

- Jesus

--John 18:5

---Brandon

----rivalarrival@lemmy.today

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Michael Scott

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

That actually makes a lot of sense. Scientists believe the Big Bang created the vast majority of the universe’s helium.

[-] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago

Not only did Jesus use pronouns, but tradition dictates that we go so far as to capitalize His pronouns.

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

So, do they not understand what pronouns are, or do they not know the Bible?

[-] hansolo@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago
[-] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 6 days ago

I'd say no, not or, and

[-] vga@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[-] L0rdMathias@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago

I love a good double whoosh lmao.

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago

Jesus, John!

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
1103 points (98.8% liked)

Facepalm

186 readers
1 users here now

Anything that makes you apply your hand to your face.

founded 6 months ago
MODERATORS