or, if I’m mistaken, replace NATO with any other military alliance Ukraine would want to join

This is essentially what the Ukraine EU accession talks are about. The EU is the military alliance they want to join, and it is actually even more protective than the NATO.

So the question isn't stupid, Ukraine actually wants this, the EU is of two minds about it so far.

even then calling it an organization is not really that accurate

It is an organization, you can go work for the NATO directly. They are headquartered in Brussels.

That said, military intervention on behalf of NATO works as you described, but there would be an obligation to help Canada in your example if the war would spread to its home soil. That said, the help obligation is literally worded "as they deem necessary", so they could pretend that no large-scale intervention is necessary.

The EU treaties actually do have a military component much like NATO, and the "ever closer union" is actually making it a reality, with Western and Northern European militaries actually merging into blocks.

Actually the EU is a closer alliance, as NATO intervention allows for both the attacked party to not ask for aid, and the countries aiding to give as much aid as they deem necessary. The EU mutual defence clause gets triggered immediately on aggression, and requires assistance by member states with all the means in their power.

The US could technically drip-feed aid like with Ukraine, while Germany would have to send in the Bundeswehr immediately if Poland got attacked.

I've perceived that things have never been better for American international order than under Trump/Biden.

The last few cycles have been a weird time for NATO, as the escalating Russian aggression revitalised the alliance, but the unreliability of Trump vastly diminished the status of the US. Europe is now actively trying to get out of the military subordinate role.

There's like 5 governments doing full dragnet surveillance in the world, wonder if one can send an interesting enough dickpic to warrant a UNSC joint session

Is the Michael Bay Skibidi Toilet adaptation still coming though?

Adventures of the little religious child soldiers

Obvious bullshit is a good way to put it. It even implies the existence of less obvious bullshit.

It's very dry and boring legalese, but look up the EU-US Data Privacy Framework.

TL;DR: Biden signed a law last year letting EU courts enforce GDPR fines in US courts. It never happens because companies are not stupid and defend themselves in the EU courts.

It's a recent edition of a string of increasingly privacy-favouring legislation attempts by the US to placate the EU about the rights of its citizens being respected abroad. The gist of it is that it is a US federal law signed into force by Biden last year, which makes it so that EU citizens have legal standing in US courts to enforce EU GDPR court decisions. There is not a lot of precedent yet, but that's part of the point.

It precludes companies from using the loophole of not having any EU presence to evade fines and rules. Companies can and almost always exempt themselves from this by having an EU entity and subjecting themselves to GDPR directly, since if they get you through this, the EU court will already have tried and found against you, and the US federal court has little room to get you off the hook, because if they do, they risk Big Tech bottom lines by endangering EU-US data transfers.

You are right. I should not comment on stuff after driving for a day straight. Thanks for correcting the record.

You should also know that hosting a service in the US without explicitly denying service to Europeans, and not abiding by the GDPR makes you liable to criminal prosecution in the US. US federal law has a version of GDPR that does not protect US citizens, just EU ones.

The right to be forgotten is a separate thing from GDPR. GDPR lets the EU go after criminals illegally using private data, like Facebook.

Edit: This is wrong. The right to be forgotten appears in Recitals 65 and 66 and in Article 17 of the GDPR.