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A man in Moscow buys a newspaper...
(lemmy.world)
Holy shit I want this as a shirt because it applies to whomever the reader interprets and thats always a good thing.
Every morning I check in to Google news hoping to see the same. When Putin dies the world will literally erupt in a giant party and I'm stocked with all sorts of party favors and have my days off reserved!
On a side note, I wonder how it must feel to see and know that majority of the world will have a party on your death day. This has to be one of the most painful feelings in the world right? Assuming that monster has any feelings at all.
Who controls the nukes when he dies? “Giant party” is a naive framing of the situation.
eh, kinda pointless to worry about that. What am I supposed to do, hop in and defuse the nukes myself? I trust that the world powers keep shit in check and I'll just enjoy my party :)
Once you look at russias nuclear incident history and realize how poorly maintained they have been for decades thanks to remote location and poor red army military culture, you kind of stop worrying about these sort of things.
Old joke.
Russian history books only need to be five words long.
"...And then, it got worse."
If he's only looking at the front page, why is he even buying the newspaper? Can't he see it just by walking in front of the place?
You're right. Let's go home folks, the joke is over.
Wait, I demand a refund for the joke.
You didn't even buy it. You just walked past.
Bro did you even unfold the joke lmao
The joke I am looking for won't need to be
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I think the joke would make more sense if the guy picked up the newspaper, unfolded it to see the entire front page, and then put it back and never bought it, day after day. The seller would still get mad because the guy never buys it, he only looks at the front page headline.
Maybe in Soviet era Russia, it is implied that you must purchase the newspaper before you unfold it?
In Soviet Russia, the newspaper unfolds YOU.
I think it's funnier as is personally. doesn't make sense but it's still funny
That's like stealing!
You wouldn't download a newspaper!
He is just veing nice to the seller and actually giving him business.
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For a year, the man just looks at the front page without buying the newspaper.
Why does he never die? the man asks. I bet it's because I don't buy the paper. If I buy the paper, then the man will die sooner.
So the man starts buying the paper.
Comedians hate this simple trick!
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Shostakovich wrote his 10th Symphony in celebration of Stalin's death
Ok it's a bit off topic, but I think the story of his 9th Symphony is even better. The Shostakovich's time, there was a sort of mysticism around 9th symphonies. Starting with Beethoven, 9th symphonies had a tendency to be among a composer's greatest and most epic works, and/or being one of their last works. After Beethoven, other examples include Schubert, Bruckner, Dvorak, Mahler, and Vaughan Williams. So Shosty came to his 9th and the expectation was that he'd follow in that mold. But Shostakovich really did not get on well with Stalin, who had many times censured him, and didn't want to do what Stalin wanted of him. So the 9th symphony is basically a parody of those types of grand symphonies.
Weird because there's literally no source that states he was celebrating Stalin's death. He wrote the piece about Stalin when he died, but it certainly isn't celebratory in tone or spirit. Shostakovich also never said he was celebrating Stalin's death. I'm assuming that's just how you interpret the piece.
Im just trying to imagine the level of state level lunatic copium that unleashes when Vladimir Putin dies. Imagine the theatrics and clownery that was North Korea when Kim Jong Il died, except its a country that's been radicalized and mobilized by fascist wartime propaganda, I quite think they'll start shooting each other out of rage and grief.
The entirety of NATO will have to preemptively go to the equivalent of DEFCON 2 upon learning that the tZar has died.
Not just that, but imagine the shitshow that .ml will be. They lose their minds if you so much as even think to criticize their beloved dictator.
I’m pretty sure they love him far more than Russians do.
what's .ml ?
Lemmygrad.ml and Lemmy.ml. There's also Hexbear.
I'd advise avoiding those instances. Block them if you can.
They have some valid takes on a lot of societal issues, buuuut yeah can be pretty hostile definitely
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JEAN MARIE LE PEN REPOSE DANS LA PISSE 🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🎊
Now that we are a one party state, this joke works for the USA.
"The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American extravagance, they have two of them."
- Julius Nyerere
I recently watched a video about how American supermarkets have an excessive amount of unnecessary choice between products and in that light, your comment is very funny/sad
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This one is perfect for us French people!
Were at brezhnev levels of gerentocracy in the u.s. so maybe the leader just keeling over could be something to look forward to in these coming 4 years. I'll take mitch McConnell if that doesn't pan out though.
Am I crazy or should approve, disapprove and no answer always sum up to 100% of respondents? Or aren't the bars stacked?
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this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2025
1272 points (99.2% liked)
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