Asklemmy

Toeknife

Drywall patching spade that is a stain scraper.

Many years ago, I lived with two slobs. They often left dried food on the counters, floors, and other flat surfaces (like the stove top or floor of the oven). In addition, one of them fed their dog with human food that gave it the shits, and was not attentive towards talking the dog out to poop. So the floor would have clay-like puddles of drying dog diarrhea. This scraper was used to deal with the dollop of whatever organic matter was dried onto the counter, floor, or otherwise. Then washed in the next dishwasher cycle.

"But you'll scratch the [surface material]!!!"

I don't care. My house, my problem. Clean up after yourself, for fucks sake. Plus, I was always wiping down the counter with cleansers, so any cross contamination was not a concern. I am a voracious cleaner.

Those slobs have left, the dog passed away, and the dogs my wife and I have now are mostly housebroken and don't have diarrhea. The scraper only rarely gets used these days. When she moved it, I had to explain to her what it was, though.

We have a felony stick...I'd tell you what it's for, but for obvious reasons.... 🤫

I have a fetch ladle and a coal spoon. My dog lives for fetch but always sets the ball next to my feet. If I'm sitting on the back porch I don't want to keep bending forward so I have a ladle that's perfect for scooping up a tennis ball and throwing it. I also have a slotted spoon that I use to grab unburnt coal out of my grill before dumping the ashes. Both of these utensils just hang from my grill.

Pellet pole for my pellet smoker. It's a 4ft long reflective marker (for marking edge of driveway when it snows) that I use to push the wood pellets to the middle of the pellet storage hopper towards the auger at the bottom.

We have the expression "look to the freshness of the shit you eat" in our native tongue. Its used to express disbelief at a situation. As far as I know, only our family has it.

We had an "automobile hairdryer." On school mornings after I took a shower and was being driven to school, I would lean my head up towards the dashboard and have the A/C blowing full blast to finish drying my hair. I would do this every morning in elementary school. Probably not very safe now that I think back on it.

In my kitchen I have a drawer full of salt next to the gas. Pretty convenient! It's also divided in 2 sections with coarse and fine salt.

Christmas Tree knife