Do not do if they are black though.
this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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Probably not the best idea if you are black, either.
With ring cameras, you could become a legend.
Oh god why am I creating an entire super-racist holiday with even more racist traditions in my head
It would only be racist if it was a white guy leaving watermelon gifts on black porches.
If it were a black guy leaving watermelons on black porches, Afro-American solstice fruit Santa. It would become racist again if white people tried to participate by leaving stereotypical black cultural gift offerings akin to milk and cookies for Santa.
it would be racist if white people tried to participate
“Racially insensitive,” perhaps, but just trying to participate in someone’s culture is usually pro-social. Only as a form of mockery would I call that racist.
Hence the leaving of "stereotypical black cultural gifts". You can imagine what white people would leave as a gift for a black person, that they only understand from popular culture.
Afro-American solstice fruit Santa
lol
Every Jan 16th black people give a watermelon to the honkies
or Jewish apparently
Or do this and save a few bucks.
One day out of the blue, I received a text message, "Dude... I just received my 13lb block of cheese!!"
No idea who sent it. Wasn't even an area code I recognized. But 10 years later, my wife and I still reference it. That one text has taken top-tier residence in my brain, and the person who sent it didn't need to go to the store to buy watermelons or go out at night making deliveries.
Did you at least send "Nice." back? That's an impressive amount of cheese.
For a while a friend of mine would occasionally buy a bunch of muffins from the grocery store, put googly eyes on them, and drive around town leaving ones at random doorsteps.
“Oh look, somebody on drugs left a watermelon on my porch”
People who are up at 3 am underestimate the experiential variety of people on a regular schedule.
Maybe in 2012 grocery prices buddy. Not now.
What does a banana even cost, $10?
You won't believe it, it's bananas!
Wasn't there some copypasta about someone leaving a pineapple on their bully's step and driving them mad
That's a How I Met Your Mother plotline
Idk what that is, but I found the one I was talking about https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/9te2pd/anons_antibullying_pineapples/
And if you leave an axe in it, you'll occupy the whole neighborhood's minds for some time.
Less sinister than nailing a chicken to their door I guess
Aka the HIMYM pineapple on the nightstand
Call the offices of James P Alibini and see of they handle hate crimes first.
I think Durians would be more memorable, especially if you smash them a bit and let them start rotting before you drop them off.
I've pondered frozen hot dogs. You can get a pack of 36 and whip'em from your car into recipients' homes and driveways. If you don't actually break anything you minimize how much anyone else will care, and you might force them to decide whether to whine to the cops/courts about vandal hot dogs or just relish their new reality.
I'd just assume it was for somebody else, wrong address, and leave it.
But then I'll have one less watermelon.
This is sort of relevant if you've got an hour to sit and listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kNPmTZQySk