Maybe just ask what she needs of you right now to help her grieve. Everyone is different after all and thus grieves differently. For example: we lost our elderly dog earlier this year. What helped me was going through all the pictures I had of her and make a reel (while crying my eyes out). My husband however started to build a bookcase.

Distractions are good but your partner needs to grief. Be there and support her. If she needs a hug, just hold her till she calms down, if she is ok with it of course. Talk about the lost cat, about the good times, about the funny times and about the bad times. The cat still lives on in both of you 🥲

I’m sorry for the loss you’re both facing. It’s hard but sometimes the only thing you can do is give them space to grieve. Grieving is never an exact science for people, and will always feel different. I’d be open and just ask what they need. Be engaged but not too overkill. Comfort as needed and give those other furry family members love. Play with them, engage, take pictures and videos, show them to your partner. I’m sure the other pets are feeling the loss to some degree too, and comforting them can be mutually beneficial.

Something I’ve done is create a picture book with the best photos of that pet. Give it some humor with captions, make it something that can carry the memory of your furry friend outside of your own brains. It can help with the grieving process and also give you something lovely to glance at when needed.

I just went through a loss myself. My boy was 17 and I had him since he was a kitten and honestly it still hurts many months later. There is no easy fix. I still start crying at random times if I happen to see his favourite toy or a picture of him. You just need to let it run its course I think and slowly it gets better, just be there for your partner and offer support and hugs.