Earth (Planet fairly close to Mars) – Elon Musk likes a few things: putting an X in the names of things he buys from others, electric cars, and publicly humiliating himself with embarrassing behavior. Then there are some things Elon Musk hates: his children, happy people, and woke.
Just last night, Elon Musk made headlines again by announcing Tesla’s latest revolution: ToXXXic, a 5-ton SUV powered exclusively by premium gasoline, “because I’m sick of all this gender fluid electricity.”
“Woke environmentalism is out of control,” Musk said as he lit a barbecue with a solar panel used as charcoal. “People want to hear the sound of pistons again, the smell of gasoline, and the adrenaline rush of knowing that with a tank of gas you are warming the planet a little. It’s romantic! Plus, we all know that electricity turns children into transsexuals.”
The new model promises to travel 6 kilometers per liter , as long as the driver is light-footed and lives downhill. Musk also announced that the gasoline-powered Tesla will be equipped with artificial intelligence that insults Greta Thunberg every time the engine is started.
In Italy, the news has already found supporters: Salvini has pre-ordered 12 units , one for each region “freed from the ZTLs”, while Giorgia Meloni has asked that it be used as a government car “for ideological and chromatic reasons” .
Meanwhile, some long-time Tesla fans pretended to suddenly discover Musk's fascist turn, expressing doubts: "But this way he betrays everything he believed in ... like clean energy, innovation, decency ...".
When finally asked if he also intends to produce a diesel version , Musk replied: “I’m thinking about it, but only if it’s in the best interest of the stakeholders.”
