Your mileage may vary depending on your parents.
this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
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Anything is better than living with my parents. I'd rather sleep under a bridge.
As someone who literally slept under a bridge to escape a horrible home, I can confirm!
boy do i know how that goes.
So…. It’s a psyop at age 18, but not at 21? What about 24? When is it not a “psyop”?
Could it possibly be that it was once believed that at around the age of 18 is when people should become mature enough to be responsible for taking care of themselves? No?
Or is it just not enough that the cost of living is going up every year to have a reasonable argument to remain home with family- now it has to be a “psyop” by big banking.
Horses, people- not zebras.
You're absolutely right.
This is just something we will tell ourselves to cope with our spiraling quality of life.
There's enough existing housing and resources for the vast majority of people to live off a single income.
Wealth inequality keeps all that excess under the control of less than 4000 billionaires that now own most wealth that exists.
"Psyop" is the wrong term, but there is some truth to what they are saying.
During the post-WWII economic boom, the US government was rapidly expanding the highway system, making suburban land cheap and accessible. Developers like Levitt & Sons started mass producing suburban tract homes, and banks favored financing them over multi-unit buildings, due to the GI bill and FHA loans. This is when the "nuclear family" ideal was developed, which was defined as a single generation of husband and wife + minor children living in a single-family home. It was a marketing ploy to sell more houses, more appliances and furniture, more cars, etc. All of this led to more isolation, which in turn led to more consumption.
As George Carlin once put it, "you don't need a formal conspiracy when interests converge." That's the case here. This was just Capitalism doing what Capitalism does, which is sell more shit to more people.
lol yes wanting freedom and to be away from your parents at 18. A psyop. Jesus Christ.
I don't know psyop, but a cultural norm to say "when your 18 you're out".
From the age of 12 on, not only did my parent say this habitually, they also stopped parenting completely.
It was a common theme of rejection in my house. I could have been the perfect kid, and tried, but I'd still here "you're gone when your 18". Never mind I didn't even graduate Highschool until I had been 18 for a few months- it was habitual rejection all through my teens, and to me, sounded like, I'm done parenting you and I don't want you in my life past the years the government madates I take care of you.
Shit hurts. My husband's parents weren't like that, some of my friends were, some of my friends weren't. You can tell who's doing better now, and it's not the kids who were told they were out at 18.
If you don't intend to help your young adult children through their early start, especially today when it's so hard, don't bother having children.
To add, I got kidnapped once by a mentally ill "friend" off their meds when I was 20 years old. At 6:00 in the morning I was able to make it to my mother's door. When I knocked, she said I needed to deal with the consequences of my actions, And she didn't want to deal with this. So I had to get back into this person's car. My mother rejected me and my plea for help. I had just asked to stay at her house until the first bus ran to go home because I was in trouble. She said no and slammed the door in my face. I got back in the car, and a few hours later, I had no idea where we were. The man stopped stopping at stop signs because I kept trying to jump out. He locked me in the car. Eventually I was able to escape, and the police were called, and I couldn't call my mother for help. I will never do that to my children. Her consequences for her actions now are 15 years now of no contact.
I'm 42 and my parents recently moved in with me. Someone killed me.
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Also why so many areas are zoned single-family housing and don't allow apartments or other "missing middle" types of housing. Houses require a lot more resources to maintain, including utilities and increased car dependency.
The real reason your parents want you out is so they can fuck everywhere in peace and bring the kink back into their life. Kids are the ultimate mood spoilers.
*meant in jest, you're all lovely*
Other way around too. One major reason why the current cohort of 18-25 year olds aren't getting any is because no one wants to bring someone back to their parents' place.
When I was that age we fucked anywhere, no need to go home for that... Unless the old folks were away for the weekend of course
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I've just spent six days on holiday with some of my extended family, all adults, staying in a hotel with my own room and en suite bathroom. It was great and we had a lot of fun but after less than a week I'm VERY happy to be back in my own home with the knowledge that it'll just be me and my cat in the morning. Maybe some people would prefer to keep living with family into adulthood, maybe I would if I'd been used to it but as it stands I love my parents and siblings though the idea of living with them fills me with dread.
I'm in the party that thinks if you have a full-time job you should be able to afford a home
Both can be true, we can put pressure on all fronts
Also homes could be way cheaper if zoning were fixed, density were legalized, and property taxes were retooled into a land tax
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No THIS POST is a psyop to help normalise the idea of generational family living at home again so that we'll swallow the ungodly recession and poverty that will be brought upon the entire working class; should we not agree, as a global unit, to Tax the rich and restore wealth to the Government, Middle and Working classes and out of the hands of Billionaires. Fuck this post.
Anytime anyone suggests we need to decrease consumption people complain that it's a plot by the rich to get us used to poverty.
we should eat less meat
The elites are trying to make the poor eat bugs
we need to drive less
The rich are taking away our freedom
we need to live in denser housing
The rich are trying to force you into a shoe box
You know what the rich really want?, consumption. They want you buying as much as possible because that's the way we get growth and it also makes it so you have less savings and are more dependent on your job, and less likely to make demands or quit.
I agree we need massive wealth redistribution and consumption by the 1% is magnitudes more harmful then the rest. But the current american lifestyle of heating and cooling an entire house for 1-2 people in a sprawled out suburb where you have to drive everywhere and have meat with every meal is not sustainable either. We need to reprioritize what we value as a society, deemphasizing individuality and private ownership and moving towards community.
You know what the rich really want?, consumption. They want you buying as much as possible because that's the way we get growth and it also makes it so you have less savings and are more dependent on your job, and less likely to make demands or quit.
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Here's the thing.
It shouldn't be stigmatized, and it shouldn't be something that's any of anyone else's business beyond being an interesting fact about a person. Just one more nugget to find.
There's no single right answer for everyone.
Families are fucking complicated. Some of them, you could happily live together your entire life. Others, you might need a giant house and you'd still have friction. Some, you don't even want to be in the same state, much less share a house.
It is, however, true that as the number of people in a group increases, the work required to maintain healthy relationships increases exponentially.
If there is not parity between those relationships, it multiplies the effect. Which means that everyone involved has to be willing to adapt and change over time for things to stay hair and healthy. When that isn't the case, the household is going to split in some way or another, and that usually means someone leaving is essentially necessary.
Think about it. Two people that love each other have work to do to maintain their relationship, be it romantic, friendship, parent/child, siblings, whatever. You add a third person to that, and instead of one relationship you have 4, not three. Because each individual relationship exists, and now the three way one does.
Now, think about two people starting a family. Say they only have one kid. The kid becomes an adult, with adult needs, responsibilities, wants, and habits. If the parents keep treating them like a child, dissonance will occur in most situations.
Now, have that child get married too. You've now got 4 individual relationships to maintain, the original triplet, the new triplet with the spouse and parents, plus a triplet with each parent, the child, and the child's spouse, then the quartet.
That's a shit ton of work. You've got all those people having to compromise, adjust their habits and remember boundaries. That's not something where everyone is going to major the optimum decision every single time. It's impossible almost, though if everyone puts in the effort roughly equally, it can be maintained for a lifetime.
Now, the second couple have a kid. Map out those connections and the level of difficulty spikes hard.
But, as hard as it is, if you find someone that's living in shared space, people still assume there's something wrong with the younger adults involved. And there may be, but it isn't a certainty the way people assume it will be.
There's benefits and drawbacks to every option when it comes to how a family lives, be it centralized, spread out, or fully disconnected.
Now, I've done all of that. At various points, I've lived with my sibling and parents as an adult; we've all lived apart as individuals, we've lived as duos (though not in every combination), and I've had two partners that lived with me during all of that, and a best friend that was there through damn near all of it, and his husband for a while, plus my kid in the mix.
At various points, different people owned the house, even though it's been the same house that I grew up in for most of that. It was originally my dad as owner, with my mom having her share of that as a spouse. Then they divorced, and my dad got the house and my mom got a big check. She still lived here, but that's a separate thing. Then my dad fucked up, and me and my best friend bought it. Now, I'm the only one on the mortgage.
The dynamics of that meant that the "power" shifted as ownership did because at the end of the day, whoever is on the mortgage/deed has final legal responsibility, financial responsibility, and that means having final say on some matters, no matter how democratic everything else is. That creates an extra dynamic on top of all the others.
I can tell you for sure that it takes work, hard emotional work, to navigate every iteration of that. When that work isn't being done by everyone, shit can get bad fast.
But it's also amazing. The amount of good in it is mind boggling if you take each family unit being apart as the goal that is the only measure of success. When everyone is clicking along, and there's equity between everyone, gods it's beautiful.
Just on a practical level, everyone with income had more left over than they otherwise would have, and none of us have ever had to face the bad times alone. We've had each others back more times than I can even count (I tried, and I kept remembering more until I gave up, and I was creeping on triple digits where the level of support was part of at least one of us making it through).
And on the emotional level? It can be chaotic, yeah, but if you don't know the goodness of being able to just hug your dad any time you want to because he's just in the other room, I'm sorry. Right now, I can go hug my dad, and don't have to leave the house. He'll laugh, and ask what's up. I'll say "nothing, I just love you", and then we'll get teary eyed and he'll say it back, and then we go about our days.
It isn't for everyone. But gods damn, it sure as hell isn't a bad thing to try either
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Remember, just because someone posts something on the Internet with confidence, doesn't mean they know what they're talking about.
A lot of people really need to stop taking advice from Twitter/X, Facebook/Meta, Reddit/Lemmy, etc.
Spare me the predictable reply "but why should I listen to you" or any variation.
Username checks out
It's culturally dependent. It is not taboo to still live with your parents in some countries. And considering the housing market difficulties, it is actually becoming more acceptable in places where the practice has been previously taboo.
You're overthinking it.
Parents just want their lives back. Plain and simple.
When your kids are 18+ they shouldn't be impacting your life that much, assuming you spent the time doing things like chores, boundaries, etc as they were growing up. I moved out at 25. I bought groceries, did yard work, helped clean the house, did my own laundry, etc. I don't care if my kids choose to stay with me past 18.
That's the difference between having an "adult child" and a "responsible adult" living with their parents.
Not every parent has the latter 😂
There are horror stories of adult children abusing their parents and basically taking over to house.
But honestly, even with a responsible adult child in the home, it's not the same as having an empty nest. And I'm sure it works both ways with the adults living at home, feeling like they want their own space and not just shared living quarters.
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I wish this was our problem. Of course, there should be no shame in living with your parents. But it should be out of free will, and here in the Netherlands sadly that isn't the case for many. Our housing market simply doesn't offer affordable housing options. For many young people the only option is a rental apartment that will cost you so much, that if you can afford it at all, you can forget about ever saving any money. Which means that you'll effectively be stuck in this situation forever. Which is an option to consider, but meanwhile those who can afford to buy a house, because of rich parents or whatnot, they have a far better deal, often even paying less on a monthly basis, while at the same time their house increases in value. It's a major dividing factor in our society, separating the rich from the poor. Of course staying home is another realistic option to consider, and more and more people make this choice, but only for lack of a better option. The real tragedy is of course when staying at home is also not a realistic option. A fucked-up housing market makes the vulnerable all the more vulnerable.
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I think it's more complicated than that , I immensely despised living with my parents and even if it was unaffordable I didn't want to move back even though I did a few times
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Maybe the kids also want their privacy? If you don't own n old house with thick brick walls between the rooms, you are basically unable to casually have sex without all adjacent rooms hearing you.
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Asian families: what do you mean "leave"?
Seriously, it's not a bad thing to stay until you can afford to leave.
While I totally agree that it shouldn't be stigmatized, "psyop by the central banks" is absolute fucking lunacy and there isn't a single shred of evidence to support it.
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Multi generational households are known for their lack of privacy and personal agency. You could not pay me to move back in with my parents. I don't even stay with them over the holidays because it's that bad. The banks did not have to brainwash me on this one.
Normal =/= desirable. Maybe some of you don't mind spending your life in a miniature royal court with your parents as monarchs, but I couldn't wait to get away from it.
It is still normal in many parts of the world.
I made 10 bucks an hour in 2007 and had a one bedroom one bathroom apartment for $475 in a college city.
Living on your own was possible 18 years ago.
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So many reasons for parents to give a big push when the children are 18.
So many reasons children want to get out at 18.
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This is less a psy-op thing than it is a product of Western society's history - and I don't mean it as in "capitalism is bad and everything I don't like is caused by it", but literally living in such individualist society makes people live or want to live in smaller groups as much as they can afford it. And it dates before capitalist rise, in my opinion.
However... I don't think living in smaller groups, like living alone or with a +1, is inherently a bad thing. As people said here, there may be multiple reasons one would like to departure from their parents' house, a lot of them are genuine and to have this option is a good thing. What I see as a bad thing is that each house is meant to be a world by its own and in some places and contexts we don't have any community bond. This phenomenon contributes to anomie in Durkheim's sense, in my opinion.
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Me, my pregnant wife, my retired dad and my working brother all live in one house. Belgium
Can we afford to live in 3 houses? Yes.
Is it necessary? No.
The house is paid off. One house is being heated, ...
Me and my wife save up about 2500 euros per month. My brother saves up even more because he's spending literally nothing. He saves up his entire paycheck.
Building generational wealth is pretty fun. My parents worked for us. Me and my wife work for our kid. I got basically a house as inheritance in a great economy. Our kid will have a house + investment portfolio (Stoxx 600, gold/silver, ...)
Our biggest "waste" of money is traveling. I don't even have a car, just using my taxes to have a long tail e bike that does the same shit.
We have 2 cars on the property, they barely are used. Literally one is being used to drive to train station. The other one for the grocery store within 2 km. It's good that one of those two is a company car, otherwise gigantic waste of money.
Our household (my wife works 14 hours per week ATM). Earns a net income of: 9300 euros.
Include capital gains of like 4%. It becomes a total of 13300 euros net "income" per month. An e bike valued 9,5k euros. An electric car.
All because we are mentally stable enough to live under one roof.
Depends on your family.
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