this post was submitted on 15 May 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I had a couple of new followers in bluesky. A new follower DMed me. He asked how I was, I said I was good. Then he asked where I was from and when I said I prefer not to say, he said he understands and that he wanted to know more about me. I told him my interests and such and didn't give any important information about myself. He too told me about his hobbies. Then he asked about my location once again. When I declined once again he said that he understands "not being cool enough to say where you are from". That was an odd thing to say. I got creeped out and blocked him. Is this normal? Why would anyone want to know about each other's location?

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[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 16 points 9 hours ago

I got creeped out and blocked him. Is this normal?

Yes, it is normal that you blocked him.

[–] wildcardology@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

I get this once in a while during online games, it's normal to want to know where somebody is playing from. I just usually just say my country name. I once had a random teammate who is practically my neighbor, The server crashed before I can take not of his in game name.

[–] algorithmae@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 8 hours ago

I ask where people are, so I have a general sense of time zone and I know when to expect to be able to message them when they're awake

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 11 points 11 hours ago
[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago

Sure, it's also normal to tell them to go fuck themselves though

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 49 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

It was perfectly normal when he asked the first time, but creepy when he asked again. The “not being cool enough” bit was flat out rude.

Not wanting to doxx yourself is more than reasonable, and I’d expect an internet user to understand that. Blocking him was what I would have done, too.

[–] dumblederp@aussie.zone 22 points 15 hours ago

I think the second ask and comment are suspicious. I can't stand people who act entitled to your information. I'd block them.

[–] Ep1cFac3pa1m@lemmy.world 77 points 17 hours ago (4 children)
[–] Pot8o@aussie.zone 25 points 17 hours ago (2 children)
[–] otter@lemmy.ca 10 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

Your comments are tagged as being from a bot, was that intentional for this joke lol

[–] Pot8o@aussie.zone 7 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

No, but that's hilarious! I wonder if it's because of the stereotypical answer to the A/S/L question?

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 8 points 7 hours ago

That's cause of your account settings. Uncheck robot/bot option.

[–] obinice@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Hmm, can real users be tagged as bots? Surely they'd complain and have it fixed quite quickly?

I saw this bot reply and just instinctively downvoted and blocked it, can't stand Reddit/Lemmy bots that don't serve a useful purpose (like unit conversion or haiku's) haha.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Anyone can label themself as a bot in the Lemmy user settings, sometimes users do so mistakenly

[–] Pot8o@aussie.zone 12 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Aaaaand that's apparently what I did. My excuse is I'm old and an idiot.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 2 points 12 hours ago

No problem, I've seen it happen a few times so I thought I'd ask 😄

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 3 points 14 hours ago

The two main bots in my IRC bot network were named Man14 and Girl41

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[–] HeadfullofSoup@kbin.earth 18 points 17 hours ago

That make me feel old lol and bring back some mIRC memory

[–] kartoffelsaft@programming.dev 15 points 16 hours ago

American/Sign/Language.

[–] Karl@programming.dev 6 points 16 hours ago (4 children)
[–] omgitsaheadcrab@sh.itjust.works 31 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] chonkyninja@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago

Are ya winning son?

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 3 points 11 hours ago
[–] dumblederp@aussie.zone 14 points 15 hours ago

Age/Sex/Location

[–] Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works 9 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah - back in the day A/S/L was asked so you had a rough idea of the type of person you were talking (typing) with…

37/M/India v 15/F/US would give you a very rough idea of the demographic the other person belonged to - and might shape your conversation differently.

[–] BlueEther@no.lastname.nz 14 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

and as internet lore of old says: that 15/F/US was either a 30 y/o living in their mum's basement or an FBI agent

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago

Which was weird, because I remember being 14 in the late 90s, and EVERYONE was 14-16/F/Cali.

And I'd always say "Oh, sorry. I'm 14, but I'm from Ohio".

I wonder how many FBI agents I pissed off.

[–] throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works 9 points 12 hours ago

Yea its normal.

Where you from buddy? Catch me outside how 'bout that? /s

But like. Dude. In the past, people could only talk to people nearby. Now, you can just yell at anyone in the entire fucking world.

ANYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! How COOL is that?

What you from?

I'm from Eastern USA, my country currently under hostile enemy occupation. (Save Our Souls pls)

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 57 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Why would anyone want to know about each other’s location?

What an odd thing to ask. Where are you from?

[–] Karl@programming.dev 6 points 16 hours ago
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[–] obinice@lemmy.world 11 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah it's normal, it's one of the first things I ask or get asked when I meet new people online.

It's cool to meet new people from all around the world, so knowing where someone's from is really interesting and gives people stuff to talk about too!

Plus, it's very helpful, because once you know where someone's from you know their timezone, what sort of weather they deal with, you might have some insight into their culture etc to better ensure you don't offend them, or maybe you've visited or love something about their country so again you now have new things to talk about :-D

Anyway yeah, similarly with wanting to know someone's age, location is often one of the first questions we as strangers ask each other in online conversation.

Age is also super useful to know, are we talking to a 12 year old? A 20 year old? A 60 year old? Knowing their age will better inform us of how to have a positive and respectful conversation, it'll inform us of what part of their life there in and thus we can take guesses to their generational cultural norms and interests, if they're likely to have a career, or be married, or if they're likely still in education studying for their masters, etc etc.

You don't need to know an EXACT age, just as you don't need to know an EXACT location, but "I'm in my 20s from England" is a more than appropriate response :-)

Bottom line: Always trust your gut if someone seems weird online (especially if they're pushy for info you're unwilling to share), but don't assume they're weird just because they want to know some basic details like A/S/L 👍

[–] biscuitswalrus@aussie.zone 7 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I'm in my late 30s from Australia, now you don't need to ask. G'day

[–] aim_at_me@lemmy.nz 3 points 13 hours ago

I remember 9/11, but not the fall of the Berlin Wall. And I was about as far away from both as you can get.

[–] FriendOfDeSoto@startrek.website 19 points 15 hours ago

This sounds like a weird person at best or the prelude to a scam, stalking, or social engineering at worst. You stick with your standards and don't doxx yourself to passive aggressive douchebags, however insistent they may be.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 30 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I sometimes like to know the general area someone's from (country or state), so I understand the context of their experience or point of view. It's not anything I would push if the person felt uncomfortable sharing. That sounds like a red flag.

[–] Yermaw@lemm.ee 11 points 17 hours ago

Yeah, there are good reasons to want to know where someone's from, but pushing the issue for no reason with a near stranger is kind of weird.

[–] Apepollo11@lemmy.world 20 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

"Not being cool enough to say where you are from" is a weird way for them to phrase it. If they're British, they might be saying it ironically (I use the phrase "well, if you're not cool enough..." as a reference to the old peer-pressure educational videos myself). Otherwise, they might be young, and clumsily trying to peer-pressure you, or old and out-of-touch enough to think that's an effective way to get a young person to give up information.

So, three options. They're either being ironic, clumsy, or creepy. No harm in playing safe and blocking them.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

What if they're not cool enough to block them?

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 10 points 15 hours ago

It's a reasonable question but it's unreasonable to insist without providing a reason.

[–] smee@poeng.link 4 points 13 hours ago

Depends on what part of the world you come from, where do you live? If you provide your home address I can also read you your horoscope.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Like Country or you street address?

[–] nibble4bits@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 12 hours ago

Most of my random DMs are some sort of business marketing pitch or slow burn confidence scammer. I wouldn't volunteer any real information about yourself until you get to know them better. And even then, especially the crypto scammers, are willing to do the slow burn because they're going for a larger jackpot of your life savings.

I tell everyone "I have a policy for never doing business with anyone I never met face to face."

[–] acidbattery@lemm.ee 9 points 17 hours ago

Asking where someone is from is a common bit of information people ask/share during introductions, so it’s normal to be curious about that. It’s also normal to want to maintain privacy online, so don’t let randoms on the internet pressure you into sharing anything you’re not comfortable with.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

To me there is nothing wrong with asking or stating what country you are from. Unless you are from a really tiny country it doesn't really matter if you state your country. For example I'm from the US which doesn't tell you anything really about my exact location.

The US is about 3,000 miles across. That doesn't included Hawaii or Alaska. It's about 1,582 miles from top to bottom of the US again not including Hawaii or Alaska.

So my saying I'm from the US doesn't give up much really but it gives people an idea about something about me and my heritage.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

So are you from the east coast, or the west? Statistically you aren't in the middle, and you are more likely from the east as that is the most densely populated. So you are likely in one of ~10 states on the east.

Still not great for pinpointing, but a toooooooon of the US is a whole lotta nothing. Similar to Aus.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

North central part of the US

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[–] warm@kbin.earth 7 points 17 hours ago

It's incredibly to normal to ask someone where they are from, it's just interesting to know. Normally it's just asking the country.

You dont have to answer at all of course, if someone doesnt respect that, then at least you know they arent worth your time.

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