this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 11 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

When I was much younger I had heard for the first time a swan circling the shore of my lake in the dead of night. It was this eerie swooshing sound, like huge wings, accompanied by the weirdest nasally grunting. This thing circled the entire lake multiple times, but I could see nothing in the dark.

Now, I was probably just high, as I usually was during that period, but I remember taking to social media to ask if anyone else had "heard something weird flying around the lake" the night before. Unfortunately, people thought I was talking about a UFO, and I wound up being ridiculed for it.

It took me years before I had finally witnessed a swan doing the same thing in the light of day, and was able to finally drop my half-baked fear that Nosferaru had been taking to the skies at night in my lake community.

[–] tauren@lemm.ee 16 points 4 hours ago

I wish people stopped putting punchlines before the setup.

[–] kazaika@lemmy.world 10 points 4 hours ago

Apex predator of the lake

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 17 points 7 hours ago

I've been diving away from swans before, those bastards are pure rage.

[–] theUwUhugger@lemmy.world 13 points 8 hours ago (5 children)

Just grab its neck? They weight like 10 kgs, no?

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 12 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

you don't want to fight a swan, they're like geese but upscaled. when i was taking photos of them once from a distance, i heard one make a noise like an actual dinosaur. do not fuck with swans, especially if the have their children around

[–] Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

I've seen a single swan absolutely beat the shit out of a handful of geese over an extended period of time. I've seen plenty of predators and prey, but this was pretty disturbing. Maybe because it wasn't a predator in that fight at all.

Every human in earshot was standing around like "do we... do something? It's nature, but... that's fucked up"

[–] theUwUhugger@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

I wouldn’t want to? They are the things known for their agression! And an animal loses all sympathy once it attacks me unprovoked!

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 18 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

You've definitely never been ambushed and attacked by a swan, those fuckers are crazy, I got in a few fights with the local swans when I was younger, you'd be surprised at how tough those little fuckers are. They're like upmarket geese.

[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemm.ee 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Canadian geese hiss and that shit can startle the shit out of someone. Imagine hearing a snake out of a goose.

[–] weird@sub.wetshaving.social 38 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Depends on the age. Fully grown ones can weigh a lot more than 10kg. Source

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 7 hours ago

Fuck a duck

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 26 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

I've heard their wings can break your arm, so it might not be just as simple as that. Still probably a good first step. But if this happened when he's out swimming where he can't stand, that would be an advantage for the swan.

[–] raoul@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 6 hours ago

I have been put KO by a chicken when I tried to catch it and it hits me with one of its wing. So I can totally seen a swan fucks you up with his wings.

[–] dukepontus@sh.itjust.works 10 points 7 hours ago

I think that is a myth. Birds have hollow bones me thinks.

[–] kowcop@aussie.zone -2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I would like my chances.. grab it by the neck, swing it like a hammer at the ground

[–] Yoddel_Hickory@lemmy.ca 17 points 6 hours ago

...while swimming?

[–] mriswith@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Around about there yeah, they can get up about 15kg but most are smaller. There are videos of people grabbing them by the neck and putting them back in the water.

But people love to overplay geese and swans as these powerful beasts because of how aggressive and loud they are, and that they can cause bleeding and such with their beak. Some even throw around the idea that they can break your arm. Meanwhile their bones are much smaller and honeycombed. They're about the strength of a really stale breadstick.