this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters, I mean it’s probably a testament to the writers but I overthink… a lot.

This question was bright on as I’ve been catching up on The Blacklist and at lunch today watching Season 8 Episode name “Anne “ and it wrecked me.

Tap for spoilerBasically the main character Red has to live a guarded life and for once he let it form and got close to Anne and you could tell shit was going to go downhill and it destroyed me when you think about it from his or her perspective.

For reference I’m 41 year old dude, not that it matters.

Edit: Bedtime for me but back tomorrow to reply to all.

Edit 2: I’ve got 41 comments to respond to. Currently working but I’ll be back y’all.

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[–] lime@feddit.nu 3 points 3 weeks ago

bro i cry at chords.

[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Crying is normal. You're a normal dude 👍

[–] houstoneulers@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yea man, count me in as shedding the occasional tear due to story drama

Yes, but very rarely. Most stories just don't affect me that way.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 weeks ago

The one scene in Lion King hits harder without James Earl Jones on this planet anymore.

[–] JakenVeina@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Me for sure. Every so often, I'll pull something up just for the sake of some tears.

My go-tos include (in no particular order):

  • Avengers: Endgame
  • The Fellowship of the Ring
  • Patch Adams
  • The Deathly Hallows (Part 2)
  • Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender
  • The Owl House
  • House MD (Season 4 finale)

Probably some more I'm not thinking of, at the moment.

[–] Binturong@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 weeks ago

Shoutout to this LIST! 100% certain I've been unable to contain my emotions watching all of these. To me that's a marker for quality, so props on your good taste!

My first time crying at a movie was a little while after I started HRT. It was Into The Spider-Verse. Dad Morales tells his son "I love you, but you don't have to say it back."

That movie is a trans allegory fr

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Big Fish in particular got me because my dad is similar to the protagonist's.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

if i get triggered i will have a full body cry that lasts an hour and ill just be sitting there in the seat after the lights come on soaked in tears unable to move it's really embarrassing thanks pixar you fucking asshole

[–] Monzcarro@feddit.uk 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yup, all the time. To give an example, yesterday I watched DC League of Super Pets with my child and cried quite a lot at one bit (if you've seen it, you probably know which bit). It's a solid movie overall too - great voice cast.

It's not unusual for me to cry when reading or listening to the news.

I'm 41 too, but a woman.

When it's good, certainly. We gotta grab whatever chance we have to feel things intensely, unless the moment doesn't call for it, before our time is up and we can't anymore!

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yep. I'm a reasonably masculine-presenting guy and most good movies or shows will make me tear up at some point, it's a standard occurrence if the story has grabbed me in any satisfying way and brought me on the resulting emotional highs and/or lows.

We joke around about it in my household because my wife is a mostly femme-presenting woman, but she generally doesn't tear up at films or shows while I'm next to her having what old stereotypes would say is the girly reaction. It's not that she isn't experiencing the story as fully or anything, she can be enjoying something just as much as I and the emotional reaction just affects us differently because (gasp!) we're two different people.

[–] Baggie@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago

All the time, but I think I've just got a lot of emotion that I seldom let out, and that's the only time I can let it out in an appropriate way. I'm not too fussed about it honestly.

[–] Lonewanderer@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I consider myself a pretty calm, stoic person, but there have been many movies that I couldn't hold back tears. It comes to me when the movie takes an unexpected joyous turn.

[–] FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I am wildly stoic (I HAVE to be due to life situations) but I also get teary-eyed at joyous scenarios and depictions of acts of Good.

Over the past 20 years I have noticed that I suddenly get teary and emotional over random thoughts or memories which leads me to believe that I am in great need of therapy but cannot engage in it.

[–] Lonewanderer@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like there is a weight to be shed. I hope you find that release.

[–] Outdated4134@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Not usually but after having kids and getting older more things affect me. Certain episodes of Bluey I have to bite my lip through and basically every Pixar movie.

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[–] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 weeks ago

Very rarely.

[–] JoeKrogan@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yes it is normal, that scene in the animated movie up gets me. John Q too.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Me, alot actually. If your movie made me feel nothing it probably sucked. If it actually managed to make me cry it's probably a pretty good movie.

[–] FanciestPants@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

The last episode of season 1 of Bojack still draws a few tears. I remember going into that last scene expecting him to cause some shit and have a big showdown with Diane... but then he just quietly asks for some acknowledgement that he can be good. I think it was the unexpected delivery, but also now how that dialog keeps getting set to lofi contemplative music on youtube that continues to make it feel heartbreaking. The latter is my own fault for clicking shit though.

[–] twice_hatch@midwest.social 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah. I think it's because there is some big stuff missing in my life and it feels weird to see certain things I want

[–] rawn@feddit.org 2 points 3 weeks ago

I get teary eyed, but I rarely cry. "The penguin of my life" was my last big challenge, so mean. Great movie though.

And yes, at some point you really want Red to have his little piece of heaven.

I think I am more open for this since I'm older (40s), when I was young I would've never let myself be that open.

[–] theherk@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I do. I actually love to cry. I have a playlist on YouTube called Cry, just because I need to feel that sometimes.

I also seem to have some sort of audio-tactile synesthesia, because there are a few exact moments in some music pieces to make my head tingle and my eyes drain like waterfalls. Not even always sad parts and I don’t feel bad. Eyes just start running like the cops are chasing them.

[–] MissyBee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago

I rarely cried when watching shows of movies for most of my life.. then I started transitioning and taking estrogen. Now I cry so easily it feels like a joke. But I love it.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 3 weeks ago

I cry depending on how engaging the story and characters are. Also, depends on what’s going on in my life. After the end of a relationship or loss of a loved one, I might be more sensitive and raw. Similar demographic to you.

[–] MyBrainHurts@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's funny, I was pretty much in your shoes (who cries at imaginary people?) For most things. Then covid hit, something flipped and damn, I'm pretty sure I've had tears in more movies in the last 3 years than the 30 before that.

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Yup, i do this too - my personal highlight was crying at ... Wall-e, when he thinks that Eve died.

I'm over 40, and this started 10 or 15 years ago, when i started to go to therapy a lot more.

But i think it's great to be able to live and feel with imaginary characters, and a sign of empathy.

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

Only certain scenes in movies/tv shows, ie: at the end of Warrior when Joel Edgerton is holding up Tom Hardy while walking out of the cage match. It doesn't matter I've seen the film a dozen times or more, I still bawl my eyes watching it.

[–] arararagi@ani.social 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This is something that gets easier after your first cry, I watched dramas before and all, but only after playing Narcissus I cried for fictional characters; after that it happens more easily.

Hell, now I get teary eyes just by watching the new Anne Shirley anime opening seeing her grow up, I don't even have a kid.

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