Fool and his money.

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

"It's not my fault you're stupid"

laughs gently and sighs

"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."

You still use a watch?

When I was at school, the kids would say, "my dad's shed is bigger than your dad's shed". But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child's view of the world. Most of us grew up.

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

My car has an analog clock face too.

That's cool, but MY watch has a Tomagachi living in it.

I have people who love me.

'nice watch!' then move in and quietly say "oh, hey, it looks like your barber missed a spot back there"

"Didn't ask"

I feel like owning expensive stuff like that is non optional for the very rich. Those who answer things like "my phone already does that" do sound poor. They don't buy it because they need the time. They buy it because it looks nice and is expensive.

I think I would make a disgusted face and say something like "really? It doesn't look like it. What brand is it?"

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

"good for you, little guy"

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

Just smile non-genuinely and say "Sure."

K

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.

Barf in his face.

Either dishonest affirmation or "That's nice, buddy" and touch his shoulder.

With people you might need later it's the first option, the second if you want to piss off narcissists.

You spend this much money for a watch that can't even turn a deer into roadkill? Your loss.

"Was it meant to make you happier? I'm not sure it worked."

"What's your point?"

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

Good for you, why should I care?

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then