Funny

Step 1. Be a young male with a terrible home life and only male friends, learn to communicate only through irony and sarcasm, preserve a culture of condemning or making fun of any genuine expressions of emotion or empathy from others because it's "cringe."

Step 2. Have ONE date in your teens in high-school with another teen who has no idea what she's doing either, have it end badly as most teen relationships do.

Step 3. Use that experience to color your entire world-view for the rest of your life and start consuming manosphere content to relieve yourself of the discomfort of remembering how terrible that one romantic experience went. "It's not you, it's her!" should be echoing in your head every day.

Step 4. Really internalize other people's ideas, thoughts and experiences as long as it validates what you're feeling. Distance yourself from women even further, convince yourself they have nothing to offer you and are less-than-human so you have nothing you can learn from a "female."

Step 5. Don't forget to hate yourself most of all, wallow in your virginity like it's your entire sense of self, think about sex constantly and hate yourself for it, develop a crushing porn habit that dulls your ability to feel pleasure from daily life. Self-medicate with games, escapism and drugs and alcohol. Ruminate on your depressive thoughts until you've picked your emotions raw like a scab that won't heal.

Step 6. Make your disgust for women part of your entire identity, develop political views that also validate these feelings, avoid people in your life different from yourself lest they remind you that there are alternative perspectives in the world, only your own experiences and your own misery matters. Scowl in disgust when you see an attractive woman with a man, have dark, violent fantasies about having power, control, and bad things happening to people who aren't you. Over-correct your sense of masculinity to an absurd degree, avoid the color pink, don't touch your own ass in the shower, sneer in disgust at any attempt by others to reach you and talk about life or offer advice, they're just NPC's and are brainwashed by liberal media! None of this is real! We're in The Matrix people!!

Step 7. A beautiful, submissive woman who fits all your ideals will now approach you and beg you to marry her. You will live happily ever after.

It works 100% of the time.

I thought you were supposed to sit there and blush every time they look at you (but avoid eye contact) and then (redacted) and you're married

chinplants? Chimplants?