this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by weird@sub.wetshaving.social to c/memes@lemmy.world
 
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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 17 hours ago

All my prostitutes are medicinal. I’m planning to stay very healthy.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 81 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Emotional support prostitute. I have a prescription.

[–] No_Money_Just_Change@feddit.org 3 points 18 hours ago

"I can do who I want

Ron"

[–] socsa@piefed.social 24 points 1 day ago

Sorry officer, I'll have your daughter home by ten.

[–] lowside@lemmy.world 56 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Sometimes, getting laid is the best thing for your mental health. She's not a prostitute she's a mental health care provider.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 31 points 1 day ago (2 children)

She told me to quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down.

[–] onion_dude@feddit.uk 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Birch@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

Maybe just stoned

[–] StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Seriously though, don't go using sex workers as therapists that you screw. Its fucking weird having a guy as old as your dad tell you about how hard his life is with his hand on your leg as it is.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 3 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

See that's what I don't get.

Let's presume I have the knowledge on how to find sex workers to begin with, then I presume I can afford one. Right there, we're looking at someone who is more expensive than a therapist without the training to actually help.

In my head, a sex worker would be an entirely different kind of "therapy" from a therapist. Mainly because I have learned that I didnt exactly have what one would consider a good sex life in my previous marriage, and it has warped my confidence. Paying to have sex seems like the way to fullfil that innate need while still working on myself with a therapist.

Still, there's a lot of other variables than would probably end up being loaded on the sex worker that I'm ignoring that probably isn't worth it in their mind.

[–] StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 23 hours ago

I don't really know what to say other than to say that there are absolutely guys that do this, because they see it as less stigmatised than therapy.

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 11 points 21 hours ago

Reminds me of a joke.

An inspector is touring a hospital, and as they walk around they see a gorgeous nurse giving a blowjob to a patient. the inspector asks what is going on, the doctor explains "he has a rare condition where he needs to get relieved regularly or be in debilitating pain", the inspector lets it go and continue,

then they see someone sitting in the middle of the hallway masturbating.

the inspector asks what is going on, the doctor says "same condition, different insurance"

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

How dare you, officer! That is a person, and she has a name. Her name is Medicinal.

[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think it was the netherlands where you could actually get a prostitute prescribed and paid for by social security. but only if you are physically disabled or something

[–] koetje78@feddit.nl 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is true, some Dutch municipalities cover costs of "sexual health care" for such cases. It's targeted at disabled, chronically ill, and lonely elderly patients. Therapy can range from cuddling and companionship to sex, depending on the patient's needs to help battle loneliness and depression. It is provided by specialised agencies.

[–] Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 22 hours ago

Hearing they get free cuddling and getting jealous probably means I should get a cuddle buddy

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 day ago

Sir, that's my wife, and you're calling my wife a whore.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago

Yeah, well, I'm suffering from epididymal hypertension, so unless you're gonna lend a hand, I think this should be covered by insurance

Not if I film it.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

She’s my…accountant.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I gotta say, if a police officer looked in my window, pointed to the person in the passenger seat, and said "Whore", I'd grab for his service weapon.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago

Aren't you overreacting about your wife? I mean, if is a public knowledge to the extent that even coppers know her...

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What if he pointed at you instead, and just left after saying it?

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'd reassess my decisions in life and how i got here. Cry a little on the inside. Then buckle my seat belt to be safe. And drive to the bar to do more whoring. I've got bills to pay.

[–] Welt@lazysoci.al 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

So... you'd get shot over a scenario that you've exaggerated in your mind so you can pretend to be tough to internet strangers.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

So… you’d get shot

Only if he was faster

[–] higgsboson@dubvee.org 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We're hearing it was a sick ostrich.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago
[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've always wondered if I dressed up like a hooker when out with friends if they would get arrested

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Why would they get arrested?

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 3 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly, you now have me wondering too. While I try to think of what a stereotype hooker would look like, it's trashy clothes or club wear. That doesn't exactly narrow it down in reality.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Even assuming she was a prostitute, the question still stands. Why would they get arrested for being in a car toghther with her.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 0 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (2 children)

Even if there are ridiculous jurisdictions where sex with a prostitute is illegal (I presume you mean USA? there is probably more), where would it be illegal to sit in a car with a prostitute?

[–] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus did it all the time in his Accord.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

😂 Following the path of our Lord

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, US.

People have been arrested over less.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Must be because of freedom or something.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 2 points 23 hours ago

it's not really enforced any more if it's even still a thing but you used to see cops going up to cars for this. iirc being a prostitute was fine but picking them up was illegal

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago

First of all, she is a emotional support natural intelligence robot.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 2 points 23 hours ago

"What? No, we're celebrating with expensive champagne being delivered to this cheap ass hotel we're staying at."

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Did he get in this situation?

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)
[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 1 points 5 hours ago

Rofl thank you

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

well obviously he kept telling her to stop.