this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2025
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[–] Crazyslinkz@lemmy.world 58 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Back in the day, they sacrificed human virgins, how did it get switched to goats?

-Satan probably

[–] frog@feddit.uk 13 points 1 week ago

Because when virgin sacrifices didn't stop droughts, the Aztec elder said to sacrifice kids. This was misinterpreted to kids as in young goats rather than human children.

What's even more confusing with this fake history is the Aztec didn't speak English so none of this makes sense.

low quality virgins

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 1 week ago

If it were sheep, the Welsh were to blame

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

[–] Bonesince1997@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Bro, you just gave me an idea...

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 week ago

How furiously?

[–] ObsidianZed@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago

"I sent you my goat. Please respond."

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

Knowing how obnoxious goats are, this could explain why Satan sends demons to earth. It's a fair trade.

[–] DarylDutch@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

I kinda want the "nice" version where Satan sets up a goat sanctuary staffed by all the "virgins" getting sacrificed as well.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

hey satan i got a good goat shwarma recipe if you need one

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Satan's not kidding around

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 week ago

Send in the goats!

And Satan is such a nice figure he keeps and tends the critters. And goats can be extremely annoying. Goofy, stuborn, a bit malicious too. But annoying.