Greentext

• Be me.

• Go to school

• Everyone else in my class counting on fingers

• Pull out Abacus

• Crowd immediately forms

• "Hey guys! He's doing multi-variable calculus over here!!!"

• Smile smugly. Don't these kids know the abacus has been around for 3000 years?

• Teacher tells me to stop cheating. Accuses me of black magic

• Just laugh. Calculate pi to 100 places. People running out of the room screaming and crying.

• Sent to principle's office. Principle amazed by my technological expertise. Nominates me for Head Boy.

• Ministry of Magic sends down delegation to investigate my new kind of wizardry

• Correctly estimate the future national gross domestic product for the next two quarters

• Voldemort appears and tries to steal my device

• Perfectly calculate the circumference of his head. Voldemort banished to the shadow realm for 10,000 years.

• Everyone cheers

• Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody walk the dinosaur

True story

Starts modded Minecraft modpack. full screen starting logs. H4ck3rm4n

*Linux

rms can go fuck himself

> look at the arch linux news before updating (like a responsible arch linux user)

> run an update for the os through the command line

> sudo pacman -Syu && notify-send "Finished updating!"

> minimize the terminal emulator

> wait until update is finished

> close the terminal emulator

> mfw nothing crazy happens

look, if you're using the terminal and your distro shows a lot of hacker-y text on screen when updating, then yeah of course there's a chance that less tech-literate people are gonna think you're hacking into the mainframe... still the story is definitely exaggerated

Fake: anon used bigfuckinmistake.exe instead of bigfuckinmistake.sh

Ace: No mention of sex because sex is for sheeple

This more or less happened to my friend circa ~2000s. They were technically amazing for our age. When the school "database" was deleted they and a friend were suspended for an entire month, almost expelled.

Turns out they had warned their teacher that the files were in a public shared folder and anyone could just literally delete them. No backups, these were grades, assignments, etc for dozens of teachers over many years. They were severely punished for trying to disclose a vulnerability essentially and blamed for the whole thing.

Linux is a gateway drug. Habitual use can lead to harder OSes, which are also Linux.

Oh please Christ tell me that kids these days aren't that dumb when it comes to computers.