Is it vomited up by a giant alien slug queen?
this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
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privacy
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I hacked into Monster and the best thing I found was a picture. Not news.
Asian women who would like to remain thin.
Pretty much every company who sells a product has something like this. They have their target demographics, their actual demographics, and breakdowns of each in their branding guides. These are so the marketing team knows who they want to sell to and who is actually buying it, and how to entice those demos into giving up their money.
Monster Green shoppers are likely younger (Gen-Z/Millennial/Gen-X) male, lower income & Caucasian (skews Hispanic).
As an aging member of Gen-X, I appreciate this description.
Are they wrong?
There's one key demographic I think they're missing...
I approve of this demographic.
I think it's spot-on, except for the "skews Hispanic" part, as I'm pretty certain that 95% of Monster is consumed by white guys named Kyle.
They might have actual data to back up their shit though
You can be white and Hispanic! Probably less likely to be named Kyle in that case, I’ll grant you.
Every person I see at the store paying for an energy drink is a 20-30 year old white guy wearing a Crooks and Castles hoodie, or a skater dude.
Legit every person I know that drinks monster other than me is under 30, white and if they arent lower income, they are in the trades and still very "working class"
Im middle aged, white, working class and the only reason I buy Monster ever is because their white can sugar free is my 3rd choice of energy drink after Ghost and Musashi IN THAT ORDER. Ghost slaps.
Just under 30, white, working class
Mango loco. There is no drink of any kind that I like as much as mango loco. Just a shame it's about the most sugar dense drink in the store, only losing to 1 other energy drink and a handful of juices.
The ghost stuff tastes like diabetes fodder. All sugarfree. I dont want to think too hard about how they accomplish that.
Privacy or cybersecurity issue? They're related, but not the same.
Entire blog post is pretty cringe, not to mention pretty much criminal.