this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2025
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Screenshot of the linked article, highlighting the publication date of September 8, 2025

So, did my Etsy curses work? Time will tell. […] For now, we can only trust in the timing of the great unknown. […]

And to you, Mr. Kirk: May the rash come swiftly.

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[–] b161@lemmy.blahaj.zone 63 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I was reading some “conservative” Christian saying how if he survives it proves that God intervened and it would be a true miracle.

Well, he didn’t. So I guess God isn’t real, but maybe witches are?

[–] Envy@fedia.io 39 points 4 days ago

Jesus promised eternal life. Etsy witches promised 2 weeks turnaround.

One seems more effective than the other

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

There's also the possibility God wanted him to die. Shout out to big G in that case.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As long as he continues dropping fascists I'll call him whatever he wants. Or she. Or it.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

God is agender. So was Adam till god split him into two sexes

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Nah I choose to believe Adam had a dick and stuck it in every animal god presented to him as a potential mate.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You can believe whatever you want to believe. I was just pointing out canonically God is they them

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

canonically

There is no more controversial word in all of Christianity 🤣

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 4 days ago
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 24 points 4 days ago
[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Something something, the real magic was the... firearm-some-person-bought along the way...?

[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 4 days ago

“I CURSE YOU WITH BULLET WOUND!”

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

USA once again fixing their conservative problem with their gun violence problem.

[–] AdrianTheFrog@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Plot twist: the assasin was one of the Etsy witches

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 3 days ago

Wow. Hands-on manifesting. That’s some commitment to the magical arts.

I’ve often heard of 30-06 spoken of with the same sort of reverence given to mythical numerology. Given the age of the rifle, it probably had a wooden stock. Very connected to nature. And a bolt action, too — each bullet sent one at a time, with an intention imparted upon it by the practiced motion of human hands, rather than through some trickery of gas pressures, physics, and precision milling.
A real artisan of the craft. There’s powerful magic in symbolism and ritual actions.

This is now cannon.

[–] python@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

It was the one with the "Shit your pants" spell

[–] sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz 5 points 3 days ago

Did they hire the witches from Macbeth or something?? 😭