Idiocracy
this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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Criminal Investigations must be crazy hard there.
"Sir, the victim has dropped dead of unknown causes, possibly choking on a gummy worm; but it could also be a curse that that caused them to choke on said gummy worm, that was placed upon them remotely from someone they may or may not have come on contact with anytime in the past week or so."
Right, start by looking for motive, forget means and opportunity. Maybe we'll get the right one this time
Well it worked for Kirk.
Some excerpts:
Leonard Phiri from Zambia and Jasten Mabulesse Candunde, a citizen of Mozambique, were arrested last December after a cleaner reported hearing strange noises in a room.
The two men were found in possession of a live chameleon, an unidentified white powder, a red cloth and an animal's tail, all of which they reportedly planned on using in a ritual that would cause death "within five days" as explained by Phiri, according to a magistrate.
The court convicted both men under the Witchcraft Act, a law criminalising witchcraft, dating back to the colonial era under British rule.
President Hichilema has increasingly been accused of using the courts to silence his opponents and more generally crack down on free speech in Zambia.
Witchcraft has also played a major role in the ongoing dispute concerning the body of late president Edgar Lungu, who is currently awaiting his funeral in a morgue in South Africa as the Zambian government insists that he should be buried in Zambia despite this going against his family's wishes.
Hichilema's insistence on Lungu's burial in Zambia has fuelled rumours that the president would want to use his former rival's body for "occult purposes", an accusation denied by the government.