He is either going to have the best sex of his life or die from a heart attack

Just do meth. It's a lot less work and likely just as healthy.

I genuinely don't even know how to react to the information I've just absorbed.

It's too much

My man is going to ascend

As soon as OOP stipulated how straight and masculine he identifies himself to be, I cringed so hard I'd almost be surprised to not have phased into an alternate reality.

The only question anyone needs to be asking him is, "Could you maybe fucking don't?"

Like... maybe don't post your creepy paraphilic fixations in public?
Maybe fucking don't mix stimulants that might kill your stupid ass?

Look, I'm not trying to be the gatekeeper of anal stimulation here, but(t) I think it might be healthy to just do a due-diligence introspection upon the question of whether or not someone who feels this vulnerable about their identity should even be pursuing ways to 'push' their own boundaries in the first place.

Or maybe I'm the problem in that I'm underestimating how important getting off is for some people. For all I know, this is the sole bright spot in some poor fucker's entire bleak, pathetic, miserable life and he'll literally fucking die if he doesn't go for it.

Either way, it's hard to imagine anyone being happy to see OOP's post unless they're getting their rocks off to it somehow.

I don't think that dildo has a flared base.

what are those meal suppositories?

Is reddit just becoming 4chan at this point? This shit feels more like a greentext than the dumb reddit posts of the past. I feel like people rarely hid their genuine selves behind this many layers of irony when I frequented it.