RPGMemes

I gifted my party a sapient dagger. It was really good too. It was a 1d6 but let you attack again, but rolling a 5 or less on the die makes you insane because the dagger insults the user so badly for missing. If it happened 12 times, the character died. They used it from level 3 or 4 through the end of the campaign at level 18, since there was no cap on how often you could attack again.

Flawed bag of holding - it's a bag of holding, but the dimensions inside are normal bag sized.

Movable rod - an immovable rod, but it can only resist up to 10lbs

Bed of comfort - it's comfortable, just not the way you were hoping.

Vorple blade - it's exactly what it is, but it's too dull to cut and sharpening it would damage the enchantment.

Axe with increased crit range (both sides)

Flaming sword (no off switch; do not keep near oil, pa}er, etc.

Shock arrows with electrical damage, stun on crit, compulsion to say some wsgelord shit next time youre talking to a new person each time you use one (non-stacking)

Cold spear, extra bonus damage beyond normal, weather table is always like two steps worse (please get it the fuck out of the city!)

Holy sword-but the sword has incentives to make you act like a cliche of how not to play a paladin

Wand of magic missile (can only target abstractions)

Wand of fireball (two charges per user. Not usable by everyone; made by an angry dramatic kinky trans woman)

Immovable rod (no off switch)

Staff of teleport (fixed targets for each charge, comes with the list. Maybe.)

Tome of stat boost (obnoxious)-comes with compulsions (gym bro[toxic], yoga[toxic], raw milk/crunchiness, quoting Nietzsche or von neumann or something at every opportunity, talking in parables, cringe political opinions)

Bracers of archery, must attempt to do everything with an arrow, thrown knife, or other projectile if even remotely plausible.

Cloak of resistance, resists being worn, being taken off

Magic carpet (ugly)

Magic carpet, slightly funny smelling, totally not from an extraplanar brothel, loses its power for a week if washed.

Glasses of true seeing (also everyone's naked)

Glasses of 'true' seeing (or high tech HUD in a cyberpunk setting), functions as normal, but also projects useful information like phrenology charts, relevant conspiracy theories, the best applicable slurs all in a helpful opaque overlay.

Container of endless water (gross) theres like chunks of algae and stuff, a little silt, definitely at least brackish.

Flagon of endless beer (insultingly cheap, but will still get you drunk. Eventually.) Loojs exactly with, and is magically connected to its twin: flagon of endless actual-cat-piss

boots of haste-functions as normal, but when given the option, you must always choose 'fast' over 'good', cannot delay actions, etc.

I feel like this would fit here nicely

Caltrops of Seeking. Drawn to metal and increase chance to damage/hit metal boots.

They stick together though and must be manually placed one by one over an extended period of time.

A magic sword that can instantly kill anything it touches but it's stuck in it sheath and can't be removed.

Sword of ghostly might: One owned by a powerful warrior who came back as a vengeful spirit. Neglects to mention that the sword is also a ghost, and therefore can only deal damage to spirits.

"Wizards with Guns" did a couple of sketches based on this concept.

Cloak of Levitation, but it just lets you float a foot off the ground without moving.

Hulk Strength, but dumber than Hulk. You smash anything in the area, including your supplies/allies/horse...

Cap of Invisibility, but you can't see anything either.