Ask Lemmy

Ok, so I'm a 38 year old uncircumcised Canadian male and on this issue, I have two opinions:

1.) Circumcision for moral, traditional, covenantial, or social cohesion reasons is child genital mutilation. Full stop, no second guesses...

2.) I have a larger-ish penis with a proportionally smaller frenulum and tighter foreskin. I am not bragging about size, I wish I was smaller because, when I get very aroused it can be quite painful. The foreskin frenulum pulls right against the tip of my penis and bends it down. If I were to excuse the frenulum and loosen my foreskin, I can imagine having sex when I am very erect would feel much better. This would be great because right now it feels like I'm trying to fuck with reigns on.

I have been exploring the idea of the loosening surgery, but obviously this is my choice, for aesthetic and pain management reasons.

The child has no choice, it's abuse. I have a choice, it's a medical procedure.

Not for a fucking second. Ever.

Male circumcision is genital mutilation.

If it’s your culture, your culture is dumb.

I did as a kid because I was different from everyone else.

As an adult I'm so incredibly thankful that I didn't suffer genital mutilation because of social pressure from people I couldn't care less about.

I'm very happy being natural.

Don't mutilate your kid. If there's a medical reason go ahead, otherwise leave it be.
Your son can't put it back if you remove it, but he can remove it if you leave it. Let it be his choice over his body.

Yes, I have a sometimes uncomfortably tight foreskin and even asked my doctor about it. In the end, I decided it wasn't bad enough to warrant the surgery.

GenX USAmerican here. I felt 'different' as a kid when we had to shower for gym class. Besides that, it's been fine. Teach your son proper hygiene and it will be okay. I have never had a negative sexual encounter about it, or been otherwise teased by women. Circumcision is so much less common here than it used to be.

Parents who perform unnecessary surgery on their children because society says they should are bad parents.

That might seem harsh, but it's true. You have a responsibility to make the right choices for your kids, and "society" doesn't get a vote.

I faced the same question, but found it to be a no-brainer. You don't perform unnecessary surgery on a baby.

The reason it is performed in the US is to stop boys from masturbating.

Ignore any excuses for doing it that people have come up with since. That's the only reason the US started doing it, and every other reason is just people trying to rationalize why they keep doing it.

The "reasons" people come up with to explain it now are based on extremely unlikely events. All the serious issues that come up are avoided with proper hygiene. Unless they still have a stupid masturbation hangup, it all comes down to this:

Parents feel icky about having to explain to their child how to wash their penis.

If you can't handle that, I'll tell you right now that you're going to have a hell of a lot tougher conversations.

What I told them was to imagine they were wearing a hoodie in the shower. You'd need to pull the hood back before shampooing your hair. Same thing goes for the little head, but don't use shampoo, that might burn.

Not circumcising my kids only caused me one problem:

My mom reacted like it was a direct personal attack on her, because I was circumcised. She saw it as me saying she was wrong. I found it difficult to convince her that I was not judging her. She didn't have the same information available to her as I did. When I was born, she didn't really have a choice.

1. If you aren't Jewish, what reason do you have to do it to an infant that can't possibly wait until they're old enough to decide for themselves?

2. Would you be struggling with the same decision to surgically alter an infant's genitals if we were talking about your daughter instead of your son?

Dude I have a foreskin and it's fucking rad. I can pinch it closed when I pee and it'll fill up like a balloon. How could you deny your son that?

I definitely would leave it up to them. It is a very long recovery to regrow that skin if they have regrets or issues later in life.

No

No, don't ever mutilate your kid for bullshit reasons. Cutting his penis just so that he can fit it in with others is nonsense.

Don't do it. Let your kid choose as an adult. You can't undo circumcision.

Genital mutilation is a caveman practice...

No why would I want to mutilate my dick

Tbh I love my foreakin, it's fun to play with and overall just enhances the penis having experience. 10/10 would recommend

Never, I'm very happy to be in cut. Just wash myself in the shower, and it's more sensation and fun.

No. Why the hell would I want the end of my dick chopped off??

Genital mutilation is inexcusable disgusting tradition - don't do it.

No. It's child mutilation. Just. No.

Definitely not but I'm not American.

Please do not mutilate your child because of tradition.

You can't be bullied if everyone is uncut. And as you say it's cultural, it makes absolutely no sense for me and I don't understand parents who voluntarily butcher the genitals of their children. I can't believe it still exists.

This is your opportunity to discontinue a barbaric practice that was done to you for stupid reasons.

The only thing that is making this a difficult ethical choice for you is the culture you were brought up in. If you were born in most other places, this issue wouldn’t even provoke serious thought in your brain, just astonishment, laughter, and ridicule for anyone who practiced it.

This isn’t a hard choice. Do the right thing.

I’m uncut and went through my childhood and teenage years in the US. No one cared in preschool, and no one cared in the Highschool locker room, none of the women I slept with cared. It might be painful as an adult to do, but it’s a choice the person gets to make for themselves. I am grateful my parents stopped the doctors from cutting.

Frankly, it's a bloody weird thing to do unless medically required. Leave him be.

The rates are falling in America so you son probably won't be the only kid with a foreskin. That said do remember there is a small chance of death from blood loss. No really that happens a few times a year.

I think its a lot less common in the US these days. My 6yo isn't, and to my knowledge none of the little kids in the family are either. My friend has 3 little boys all uncut

From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it?

Id like to answer your question with a few questions to reflect on: If social pressure is enough to make you consider going against your morals here, where is the line? What wouldn't you compromise on? And in 20 years if he asks you about your decision, what will you tell him?

We didn't circumcise our son. It's a barbaric practice and you shouldn't do it. There's absolutely no good reason to mutilate a child's genitals, and it's abhorrent that it's so commonly practiced.

You could also consider chin implants to give your son a strong chin. A strong chin is definitely going to have a positive impact in his life later on, and recovery will be faster and less painful as a child. Another thing to consider would be earlobe separation if his earlobes are joined. This will make sure he looks more normal and won't be made fun of in school. If you are asian you should definitely also consider eyelid surgery since it can reduce problems with vision and lead to healthier eyes

Or you could avoid cosmetic procedures on non-consenting children entirely.