I like people but I hate crowds. Just find them annoying

I like people a lot and I think everyone's life holds value, for the most part and I'm pretty optimistic about most people. On a personal level, i dont like everyone i meet. i can't stand certain people, I don't like crowds, and I especially hate everyone on the road.

In general, I adore and like people. Capable of such beautiful things!

I like seeing people smile and interacting with them in order to absorb that light and shine it back. And if none seem to be there, I like to try and get one going.

But I get anxious where there are masses of people present. City streets. Malls. Campuses.

It’s not that I suddenly dislike people. I just get overwhelmed with my adhd and base quirks, too much stimuli and too much of everything going on everywhere.

I love people as individuals for the most part, i.e unless they specifically give a reason not to. Many do give that reason, unfortunately. But the vast majority never do, in my (privileged?) experience, which is amazing and exciting to me.

But I tend to avoid masses of people. Not because I dislike them, but because I dislike the anxiety I gain.

Based upon my actions, I tend to avoid people probably from a fear of judgement, and maybe partly because I think I am better than them because I like to think I'm more informed than them usually. I also like to think and tell myself that I like people even when I don't necessarily live up to that in reality. In general, I try to assume that people are good, while keeping in mind that they are inherently selfish.

Even if people say and have a lot of naive or ignorant viewpoints, I try to remind myself they may partly hold those viewpoints to feel better about themselves. Everyone wants to feel like they are important, and some people do that by tearing other people down. If the only way someone can feel better about themself is by telling themselves at least they aren't black, gay, trans, a lib, a commie, a repub, poor, etc. then they must have a pretty sad life.