Ask Lemmy

Falling in love

That's a long list but here's a few things.

• Going to therapy.
• Being willing to forgive and make peace with my dad.
• Seeking medical treatment for my ADHD.
• Getting a septoplasty. (Who knew being able to breathe through you nose was so great.)
• Divorcing my first wife, who is a truly awful person.
• Saying yes to a date with my (now) wife, who is an awesome person.
• Learning to love myself just the way I am.
• Taking an active role in managing my finances.

Cliche but meeting my partner, girl has saved me from so many dumb decisions and she has no idea.

Nothing.

Life has been on a slow, downward slide since I was a teenager.

0. Going to collage and experiencing the wide gamut of experiences there.
1. Meeting my wife and her saying yes to going on a date with me my last year of college.
2. Living in a foreign country (Japan) for 3 years for work with my wife and having 2 kids while I was there.
3. Having kids (3 in total)
4. Designing and building our own house.

Meeting my fiance by miles. It isn't even a contest.

A distant second, which is still miles above anything else below it on the list, is buying a good house in a cheap (bad) neighborhood at 3.1% interest 30 yr fixed.

Got lucky as an early investor in crypto which has allowed me to feel more secure in taking on debt to purchase a home

Using the trade skills I acquired to pay for a computer science degree, which has secured me the best job I've ever had. Going to college later in life was absolutely a game changer.

We moved from a 16m2 room to a 55m2 appartment.

It's still way smaller and actually too small for us to keep our hobby income going, compared to our old 120m house that had a lower rent.

But hey, it's something i guess.

Getting to fall in love with my wife

I love this question, super interesting to think about. I feel very lucky that it's hard for me to pick one, between meeting my fiancée (she makes my life better in every way), getting on adhd meds (a lot more things about life make sense now), or getting my job (since it's made me grow into a completely different, more capable person). Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the negative thoughts, so thank you.

If you don't mind sharing, what about moving out has helped you? I'm sure there's as many different ways as there are people who would answer similarly, increased independence, escaping the power imbalance, having to grow as an adult, and so on

Being the son of the city major in a kind of big and well known Mexico city.

I know this is going to sound strange.

I killed myself. Or rather, I tried to kill myself. I mean, I did kill myself, but then I was still alive, in a new universe. My memories from the previous universe survived when I woke up here.

It made me realize that I literally cannot escape. Even through death.

That has given me a sort of “burned my ships” commitment to life that has made me truly alive. I also realized that all other humans are also trapped in a quantum immortality situation that will last for eternity as far as I can tell, so my level of caring and compassion for others has also increased.

I know it sounds totally fucked, but by realizing that I literally cannot die, it made me realize how important every moment is. Because every choice is a seed of eternity. The value of doing things right just went infinite for me, and I’ve never been happier, more productive, more generous, more committed to doing things right.