"I know that isn't true. It isn't logical. I should just stop thinking about it. WHY CAN'T I STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!"
Because you're focusing on wanting to not think about it rather than focusing on observing your thoughts and details about the present moment. Thoughts will come and go, allow them to, then gently redirect yourself back to something like breathing, physical sensations, etc.
That's the gist of what's been kind of helping me the most of everything I've tried and it's quite difficult to practice and there's a lot more that goes into it (like you do have to actually challenge some thoughts) but yeah.
Look into a course called MBSR, it gave me some essential tools to manage circular thoughts. It's work though, about 30 minutes a day for me.
Many medical groups offer it on a subsidized basis.
Them: "You don't have anything to be depressed about!"
Me: "I know"
Them: "So why aren't you happy?"
Me: "Because that's not how it works!"
There is also plenty of oxygen in the air. Do you think that matters to my asthma?
I've been in therapy for so long, I basically understand it well enough intellectually to be able to help others.
I know exactly how it's supposed to help me, but deriving actual benefit or being able to apply the techniques to myself has never been the slightest possibility.
Over thinking and imagining impossible scenarios and losing all my mood all the time. Otherwise I am a logical person.
a lot makes sense when the psychosis hits
I am in a state of perpetual argument with my self.
I feel so seen...
This is basically my entire personality in a single sentence.
Too real, good thing I overcame my illness for the most part but still, back then this was it.
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