The missing nut graf was "The GOP is nostalgic for the antebellum South; Democrats are nostalgic for 2016."

The point stands that both parties are focused on the rear view, which is pretty much textbook "conservative," regardless of how the term has been intentionally co-opted.

I've been thinking about the difference between conservatism in general and what is Conservatism in the United States with a capital C. The ethos of conservatism in general is to depend on established systems and to be risk averse, and this is a great summary of the behavior of the Democratic party for the last few years. Capital C American Conservatism as it exists in the US is a radical right wing movement which opposes liberalism fundamentally, which is composed of democracy and capitalism. Although Capitalists prefer what is to the right of them than to the left of them, Fascism and Feudalism are to the right of capitalism which will allow anything in the interest of profit good and bad. Fascism and Feudalism are much more restrictive than capitalists, and will oppose "woke business" whenever it opposes traditional right wing values. The contemporary capital C Conservative movement in the United States opposes even the Enlightenment values of the Founding Fathers (who were themselves slave-holding capitalists) in favor of a more traditional feudal structure which is venerated by Fascism. DeSantis is the leading figure of the far right in the US, and does not wish to revert the US to a prior state, but to revert the US to a system which existed prior to the United States in the interest of traditional values which are centuries old. One of the key components of fascism is to mythologize the past and contend to "return" to the ideal which never actually existed. This is the ethos of the capital C Conservative movement which does not seek to conserve but to enact a far-right system similar to what existed pre-enlightenement.

Liberalism is a conservative, pro-capitalist ideology

So is your definition of "liberal" just "someone who wants to maintain the status quo", full stop? If so, that's a very strange definition.

As I understand it, Classical liberalism, as described in the link you provided generally just prioritizes individual liberty. It's not full on anti-government libertarianism, but it favors a limited government.

And again, as I understand it, Neoliberalism is essentially the orthodoxy of the west, post WW2. It's still largely focused on individual liberty but perhaps not to the same extreme, and it's largely based on the idea that capitalism (regulated, and with social safety nets) can be harnessed as a global force for good.

I don't see how anyone who adheres to either of those ideas could use them to justify an anti-abortion position, aside from deranged religious based arguments about fetal personhood.

Yeah, the opening sentence

The Democratic Party, for decades the progressive bastion of the United States, is emerging today as the party of the status quo.

had me scratching my head.

Our Overton window runs centre-right to fascist. A lot of labels have been orphaned, and writers just want to give them a home, inappropriate as they may be.

Were I to write a satire column on the topic, I'd easily end up with some variation on the lede through the dependent clause. The problem is the predicate fails to keep the tone, leaving ambiguity about the writer's intent.

I was taken seriously by much of the student body with an editorial that started: How lucky we are to live in a time where modern conventions have yet to overtake some of our more archaic traditions. At universities across the country, including [redacted], the next few weeks will see celebration and revelry thanks to Homecoming. And Homecoming is truly an exciting time to be here.

Why are you all the way down here by yourself, we gotta move this comment up, and thank you!

Your comrades thank you.