I live in Europe so I don't know availability in your region, but based on your requirements the perfect match is Sony Xperia 10 series. The latest is the Xperia 10v, although Sony also sells the 10iv and 10iii (my phone) at reduced prices.

If your budget is bigger look at the Xperia 5iv or the upcoming 5v.

These phones are compact, beautifully designed, very comfortable to hold, fast, light UI, have great cameras, headphone jack, SD card slots and full waterproofing. Plus at just 6" the 10v is one of the most compact phones on the market.

They have a 21:9 screen which means its narrower than other phones and a bit taller, but not much, making it super easy to hold and pocket.

Really, really nice phones.

Also I've emailed their support with bug reports and feature suggestions and they always reply and forward them to the Devs, so they are very customer focused.

Plus they typically allow easy bootloader unlock so you can often try other ROMs as well.

if you can tolerate a USB c to 3.5 for headphone, example: https://a.aliexpress.com/_mtrC0vw

Or with charge passthrough: https://a.aliexpress.com/_mLY3QHa

(Also available for like 4x price on Amazon)

Then one of the pixel 7 devices, if not then a pixel 6. The a models are generally not significantly worse if at all, but have only the lower storage capacity options. No micro SD if you need that. (I really want this in every phone) I have the 7a.

The main detail though is installing grapheneos. This is your debloat and privacy method. You use a computer or even another phone with a relatively up to date chromium based browser to use their web installer which walks you through unlocking, flashing, and re locking.

By default it is de-googled but you can install Google services sandboxed via the "apps" app which also keeps the stock browser, pdf viewer, and camera up to date. Banking apps may need "exploit protection compatibility mode" which is in per app settings.

I also use rootless jamesdsp with shizuku and Spotify remove capture restriction patch from revanced manager for per device eq settings. Which is great for tweaking sound quality to your liking.

Battery life is good enough for me. I charge generally only when I go to sleep. I can get through Spotify for my whole shift on Bluetooth with the jamesdsp setup running. I got a case with the copycat magsafe ring and use wireless charging mostly and plug the USB c with a port protector. I also have a magnet gooseneck to hold the phone for emulators with bt controllers. This sometimes requires an additional charging session but only if I game for longer than I should.

Security updates are minimum 5 years from release date according to their site. Older pixels as far as 4 are still installable but 4 series is considered end of life.