I don't see why we have to have these debates. It did not literally, historically happen. Conundrum solved. It's a story that can still have religious, ethical, spiritual meaning. Aesop's Fables didn't literally happen either, they are still meaningful stories.
Even like Maus did not literally happen as written (the holocaust did happen, to be clear, but it happened to humans), the point is a level of abstraction to get at deeper truths.
Some people think everything literally happened but some people think they are literally married to Severus Snape. Nobody's getting through to those people, least of all with a Lemmy comment or a cartoon. Don't worry about them.