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submitted 7 months ago by macji@pawb.social to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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[-] OccamsTeapot@lemmy.world 110 points 7 months ago

Read the bible and tell me he's wrong. Poor characterization, wandering plot, endless instructions stuffed into the middle of irrelevant chapters, many cases of the main character "God" supporting and encouraging crimes like rape and murder, and it's soooooo long. Brevity is the soul of wit, disciples! Get your shit together and learn to edit.

[-] macji@pawb.social 39 points 7 months ago

Thanks for always watching out for me Satan!

[-] OccamsTeapot@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

Ma boi beelz has my back

[-] Neato@ttrpg.network 36 points 7 months ago

It's also more of an anthology but the editor clearly didn't do their job. You've got a book of fables right next to a genealogy list. Later on there's literally 4 versions of the same damn story. And then they jammed some fanfic writers apocalyptic crap at the end.

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Also 3 of the versions describe the crucifixion as Christ being tied to the cross, only one of them said anything about being nailed to the cross.

[-] Cethin@lemmy.zip 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Seeing it described like this, I wonder if we'll ever see an edited version that's organized more like LOTR. Throw the genealogy crap and miscellaneous garbage into a seperate book you can choose to look at if you want, and throw the main stories into their own books.

The Prophet, or There and Back Again, and Back Again. A Jewish Tale by Moses

The King of the Jews

Honestly, I bet a good fiction writer could do this really well and it'd make a lot of money. I don't know if you aim for actual religious people or make it as a parody though.

[-] De_Narm@lemmy.world 51 points 7 months ago

Would he even dislike it? God does so much terrible stuff in there, you actually support Satan's attempt to overthrow him.

[-] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 43 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Also, the best way to turn someone away from religion is to actually make them read the bible.

[-] criticon@lemmy.ca 12 points 7 months ago

That's why they do "Bible studies", so they only read the good parts while also interpreting them to their convenience

[-] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

How to turn them away from Christianity, for sure.

[-] Norgur@fedia.io 4 points 7 months ago

That's what I'd say about Nazis and mein Kampf, yet...

[-] madcaesar@lemmy.world 42 points 7 months ago

Satan is the one telling the truth in the fable.

[-] neoman4426@fedia.io 22 points 7 months ago

The serpent is basically the first teacher within the story, a Prometheus like character freeing mortals from oppression by unjust gods to make their own decisions. Makes me wonder how the Greeks viewed Prometheus in his story (though not enough to actually look it up), to me Prometheus seems the obvious hero of the tale, but did they view him the way people view the serpent?

[-] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 13 points 7 months ago

even today, there's memes about the first fish leaving the ocean and saying it should've gone back/stayed, since it eventually led to the present day with all it's stresses/etc. So it's probably a recurring theme throughout history of humans pining for an ignorant but blissful (or at least simple) existance.

another meme example is the meme that's like "you wake up as a lizard sunning on a rock. "Selling feet pics" to "pay student loans" quickly loses it's meaning as you lick your eyeball. Time to eat a bug."

[-] Draconic_NEO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 7 months ago

Hate to say it but Satan has got a point, both for the book because it's poorly written and horribly outdated, and also for the app that almost certainly collects huge amounts of data from anyone who uses it.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 12 points 7 months ago

Also, really not a fan of the publishers repeatedly falsely crediting chapters to a dead author.

[-] soulfirethewolf@lemdro.id 30 points 7 months ago

Lol why even download a Bible app when you could get an ePUB?

[-] frezik@midwest.social 43 points 7 months ago

Does your ePub file collect data for the LORD?

[-] Array_X@sopuli.xyz 28 points 7 months ago

In five star rating you can only give one to five stars, not zero.

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 45 points 7 months ago

Satan is something of a bad boy

[-] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago

He's a great guy and the writer has a bias against him so we let him bend the rules here and there.

[-] lugal@lemmy.ml 31 points 7 months ago

You and me for sure, but satan can

[-] fri@beehaw.org 14 points 7 months ago

There is no global standard that says that. Everyone can have their own rating system. The Times uses 0-5.

[-] survivalmachine@beehaw.org 1 points 7 months ago

Naah. I don't use stars, but I use an equivalent on my rating blog, and I can absolutely do zero or even arbitrary fractional values, such as 0.5 or 22/7 or 4.997.