If you were running your own (even single-user) instance of lemmy, you could defederate with any instance and still participate in others as normal.
There's an enhancement being considered. Please react to and comment on this issue for more visibility to the developers.
Since the developers are the problem, it's probably not likely they'll implement. But I'll keep on eye on this and maybe contribute if there is a soft fork.
I don't think I'd view them as a problem here. They need to triage the issues and they're going to focus their efforts on things they see as a bigger benefit. They haven't indicated that they would deny code contributions to add this feature.
We'll have to see, but by my past experiences with Tankies and other authoritarians, I don't expect reasonable behavior.
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